A Danger To Us All
by Lyetta
Summary: We thought the Erudite were plotting against the Abnegation. We were wrong, their plans were always much bigger than that. Never has it been so dangerous to be Divergent. AU from the end of Tris' initiation. Tris/Tobias
1. Chapter One - Tris

**This is an AU story starting from towards the end of Divergent. It begins (from Tris' POV) the day after the initiation rankings are released. There has been no 'tracking serum' and no war on Abnegation (yet). **

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**Chapter One - Tris**

I wake slowly with a growing feeling of anticipation that I don't immediately understand. I blink my eyes and roll my shoulders, feeling the crackle of my joints. The dormitory is quiet, most people are still asleep. The celebrations went on late into the night – for some at least.

For me, the exhaustion of the last few weeks hit me soon after seeing my name on the list of new members.

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I realise that I'm being watched.

Christina sits, cross-legged, on her bed across from me. A smile is spread across her face and her eyes are bright. I know what she's thinking but she says it anyway. "It's over. We did it."

I grin back. "We did it." She presses her palms against her cheeks like she is trying to supress some of her excitement. It's Saturday and we get the weekend to ourselves. On Monday the rest of our Dauntless lives begin.

I dress in a hurry but keep my movements as quiet as possible; I don't want to share this moment with anyone else. As my hand sweeps over my covers, checking my space is tidy and that I'm leaving nothing important behind, I see the two empty beds at the far end of the dorm. Molly and Drew.

_Factionless._ A tightness grips my chest like two hands squeezing the air from my lungs. I don't feel sorry for them. I don't.

I wonder where they will go, if they will stay together, if they will survive. I think of the factionless man I met after my aptitude test and shudder. Christina comes to stand beside me. She is looking at the empty beds too but her face is hard and shows none of the pity that I am afraid my face is unable to hide.

"It was them or us," she says. "And I'm not sorry that it's them."

"Neither am I." And it's true. It's selfish, but I'd never swap my life in a faction for theirs outside, always on the edge looking in. More proof that I could never have been Abnegation.

She pulls my arm, "Let's go."

We grab a quick breakfast but the excitement that I woke with has returned. Eating feels like a waste of time when there is so much more we could be doing. But when we have both eaten we find ourselves looking at each other, waiting for the other to suggest where to go, what to do. Maybe because there is 'so much' we could do, we are floating in the sea of possible choices.

"This is going to sound odd," Christina starts quietly, even though there is almost no one else around to hear, "but the place that keeps coming into my mind is the training centre. I feel like all this," she pauses, laughs and continues, "all this _freedom_ is filling me up and I think I might burst if I don't shoot something!"

I laugh. Really laugh and Christina does too.

I never had free time in Abnegation and I've not been Dauntless long enough to know how to relax here. I'm on edge too and the training centre feels right. This is the first day we can go there by choice. It's not like it's full of happy memories for either of us but somehow it feels safe, familiar.

We set off at a walk but with one glance and no words we both break into a run. Running was one of the things that first drew me to Dauntless - the pounding of my heart, the rush of blood to my muscles. I'm more alive when I run.

"So…" she says, eyebrows raised, as we slow slightly and jog together towards the training rooms.

I glance across at her, "'So' what?"

She rolls her eyes, "Are you going to tell me about you and Four, or not?"

"Oh," I say and look away. I feel a shy smile and a growing heat in my cheeks that has nothing to do with our running but no words come out of my mouth.

I think about him finding me in the crowd after the names of the top ten initiates were released, his lips brushing over mine, his fingers on my neck. _Tobias._ After that I got swallowed into the celebrations and I lost him in the press of people all around us.

I miss the feel of his hands on my skin. The thought both surprises and excites me, but it also reminds me where I am. I drag my mind back to the present to find Christina staring at me; she wears a smug smile that makes me think of the Candor she used to be. But she's Dauntless now. We both are.

She's still waiting for an answer. "It still too… new to share," I say.

Christina shoves me with her elbow, knocking me into the wall, but laughs, "That's your inner Stiff speaking."

I laugh too. She is probably right.

We get to the training room and hunt around for something to do. Christina reaches for a gun while I choose a selection of knives. Knife throwing seems more significant to me. It makes me feel closer to _him_.

I give myself a shake, ashamed of how quickly my thoughts returned to Tobias. I nearly drop the knives in favour of a gun after all, but I don't. Today is my day to spend how I want. Today I am free.

We both choose targets at the end of the room. And whether it's by accident or not, I end up facing the same target that I once stood up against, waiting for the knives to fly towards me.

Christina and I spend a happy half hour in front of our targets. She is more relaxed than I am; improving my aim is becoming an obsession, which Christina playfully points out.

"Hey," we turn to see Will jogging towards us. He smiles at us both but his gaze lingers on Christina. "I thought that since we're now allowed to leave the compound alone we could spend the day somewhere new. You know, just jump on a train and see where it takes us?"

"Great! You up for it Tris?"

I know Will was including me in his plan but I can tell they're both hoping I won't come. "I'm good here, but have fun." They wave and I watch them go, each with an arm around the other. It looks simple, what they share, so at ease with each other.

I turn back to my target and continue to throw. My arm aches so I swap to my left, frustrated at first by my lack of co-ordination but soon finding the same pattern - my breathing, my arm and my intentions all in sync.

I'm just about to throw when a knife flies past my head and hits the board with a soft thud. Dead centre.

"Get you own target Four," I call back without looking. I can feel his silent smile and though his feet make no sound I know he is now right behind me.

I raise the knife again, still in my left hand. I'm tempted to swap back to my stronger arm but he will see. I won't give him that satisfaction; I won't doubt myself in front of him.

I release the knife and watch as it flies end over end towards the board. It sticks, but lower and to the left of Four's knife. Immediately, I raise my arm to try again.

His hand covers mine, adjusting my grip, "You're holding too tight. And your hand is shaking." I scowl, I _know_ my hand is shaking but that's got nothing to do with my throwing ability and everything to do with how close he is standing. He moves his hand from mine only to then rest it on my hip.

Ignoring his touch, I try again. This time my knife lands flush against his, any closer and it would have bounced off the handle. I smile to myself.

"Better," he says, I can hear the smile in his voice too. The hand on my hip tightens and he wraps his other arm around my waist pulling me back against him.

I stare at the target unseeing, focussed instead on the feel of his breath on my shoulder, his nose brushing my hair aside, his mouth on my neck. I sigh, closing my eyes and tilting my head as he moves his mouth up the column of my neck.

"I've been looking for you," he whispers against my ear.

"You found me," I reply.

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**Continue…? Lx**


	2. Chapter Two - Tobias

**Thank you to the guest, Windchimed, mileyismyhorse and love eat write for your kind reviews, this chapter is for you.  
Etta x**

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**Chapter Two - Tobias**

Tris turns around to face me but I don't release her from my arms. She smiles and reaches up, gently brushing her lips over mine. I kiss her back. Her fingers dance across my back, across my tattoos one-by-one. I like that she has me memorised. My fingers trace the contours of her face – I have her memorised too.

"Why here?" I ask quietly; she frowns, not understanding my question. "You could be anywhere, doing anything, so why come here?"

Tris shrugs, "I don't know, it just felt like the right place to be." She looks up at me, her eyes bright with enthusiasm, "What did you do on your first day as a Dauntless member?"

I give her half a smile. I'm still shy with her, unused to being this open with anyone. But I shared my fears with her, shared the truth about my past; I can share this too.

Stepping backwards, I tug on her arms, silently asking her to follow. She does.

We walk along the corridor, past the door to the initiation dormitories, through the Pit, and out into the city. The sky is pastel blue and the air is still; everything is, in fact, very similar to this day two years ago except that back then I was alone.

We approach the train tracks and I begin to run, laughing at the confusion on Tris' face. There is no train coming but I am running alongside the empty track anyway. The pounding of feet behind me tells me that she is following. Tris catches me up and grins across at me. She is fast, but I am faster. I pick up speed and we are racing.

Ahead of me the track bends sharply to the left. Here I stop and wait for Tris. I catch her in my arms as she tries to pass me, holding her up and laughing as she bends over and breathes deeply. It feels good to laugh.

When Tris looks up at me, her face is flushed with the exercise and her eyes are alive. Today she seems to radiate happiness and hope; I want today to last forever.

"You're beautiful." I didn't mean to say it out loud. Her cheeks turn a darker shade of red but she doesn't look away.

"So this is what you did? You raced an imaginary train until you couldn't run any further?"

"Something like that." Tris is silent, waiting for me to explain. She doesn't rush me; that is one of the things I like about her.

"After the rankings were released, people crowded me, wanting a better look at 'the guy with only four fears'. Some of them were hailing me as a Dauntless hero, others as some kind of freak. But for every person pushing to introduce themselves to me, there were two people watching me from a distance. I hated knowing they were looking at me, talking about me.

"Back in Abnegation, I had always tried to make myself invisible. And suddenly I was the center of attention. So I ran... Not very Dauntless," I pause, waiting for the snide remark or the look that says '_you're not what I thought you were_' but it doesn't come. Tris is just watching me, waiting for me to continue; so I do. "Running was liberating. I ran so far I almost lost track of the way back. Maybe that was the point," I add bitterly.

"But you went back."

I nod, "Yes, I went back and slowly people lost interest. I don't get on well with people, I don't say or do the right things, so eventually even the ones who were desperate to claim me as a friend gave up and let me be."

"And Zeke?"

I smile; she has been paying more attention than I'd realised. "I met Zeke during initiation. You're right, he's a friend. He likes me for who I am, not for my ranking."

She links her fingers with mine and we continue walking in a comfortable silence. I am always aware of the contact between us. I can feel every brush of her fingertips, the smallest change in the pressure of her grip, the slight dampness of her skin. It is overwhelming at times but I always want more.

Carefully, we cross the train tracks and once on the other side we move away from them, following the route my feet took me on two years ago. Back then every turn was random and each street looked much the same as the one before. But since then I have run this route regularly. Now every bend has a purpose, every abandoned street is unique and all these details help to distract me from the life I have chosen.

We reach the fence. Beyond it we can see the Amity farmland and somehow, out there, the sky seems bigger than it does in the city. This part of the fence is far away from the main gate and the Dauntless patrols only pass by twice a day but there are cameras every hundred meters or so. I don't want anyone to see where we are so I keep us just clear of each camera's range - one of the benefits of working in the control room.

"What happens next?" Tris asks me.

"You mean tonight?"

"Tonight, tomorrow, next week, next year… I just want to know what to expect."

I want to tell her that everything will be fine. Better than fine because we can be together now, we don't need to hide our relationship. But there is so much we both still _do_ need to hide, things that it will never be safe to admit.

I focus on facts. "Tomorrow you will move out of the dormitories into new the accommodation that has been allocated to you. Your room will be similar to mine; they are all pretty much the same. On Monday you'll choose your job and, because of your ranking, you'll choose first." She knows all this but she doesn't interrupt so I continue, "after that it will depend on your choice. You'll get a mentor who will work with you and train you for the next few months, and then it is over to you."

"Hmm." Her mouth is a thin straight line. Neither of us has mentioned the Erudite or what they could be planning. I didn't want to bring it up today but I can see that it's what Tris is thinking about, what she really meant by 'what happens next'.

"We will find a way to warn them," I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back, "but we need to be careful." The sky is still that same clear blue but the day has dulled with our change in mood.

It is twilight when we return to the Dauntless compound. We are greeted by the smell of Dauntless food and the distant rumble of Dauntless voices from the Pit.

_Home. _That's how she feels about this place, it's written all over her face. She belongs here in a way that I never have, and never will. I remember the promise I made to myself a month ago: to leave all this, to make _my_ home among the factionless. But then I met her and everything changed.

A flash of colour in my peripheral vision catches my eye. It is a poster and as I turn to look I know that Tris has seen it too. The bright red letters are clear from here but we both step closer to read it.

The message is simple:

**DIVERGENT****  
a danger to us all**

My blood turns to ice in my veins. I look away but the words are burnt into my retina, I see them everywhere I look.

Tris raises her arm and I realise what she is about to do just in time to stop her from ripping the poster off the wall.

"No. You mustn't," I say. She struggles but I manage to drag her away.

"Let me go!"

"Wake up Tris!" I snap, shaking her by the shoulders. "It's a trap. You mustn't be seen to take it personally. They are watching, always watching." I shake her again but more gently this time, "they're watching _you_."


	3. Chapter Three - Tris

**Chapter Three - Tris**

On reflection, I think that Tobias is probably right, so I do my best to keep my emotions in check over the next few days. The poster we saw was only the first of many – all carrying the same simple message. I keep my head up and try to act normal, but I'm not sure I remember what normal looks like.

He was right about my new room too: it is the mirror image of his. I took my few possessions up from the dormitory in one trip on Sunday morning and sat on the newly made bed, looking at the blank space around me.

The emptiness still makes me feel uncomfortable, it reminds me too much of my room in Abnegation. I wonder if that room is still as I left it, if I will ever see it again.

So I have begun to collect things to fill the void. It started unconsciously, small things that I slipped into my pocket without thinking what I would do with them later: pens, bottle tops, an empty bullet shell from the floor of the training centre. But now I have moved on to better things... well, bigger things may be a more accurate description.

Two days ago Uriah caught me attempting to carry a rock up from the Pit. It weighed nearly as much as I do and so, understandably, I was having some trouble getting it up to my room. He laughed and sat on the path a little way ahead of me, watching me struggle. Eventually he helped me carry it up, as I had known that he would, but he has now begun to call me 'The Magpie'. He has taken to warning people not to leave me alone with any of their possessions unless they don't mind me taking them back up to my 'nest'.

I don't mind the teasing; it distracts me from the growing panic I feel every time a new Erudite poster or article appears.

My job is a distraction too. I get my first choice, obviously, of ambassador to the other factions. My mentor, Axel, was a transfer too, from Amity. It's just the two of us, we share an office right on the edge of the Dauntless compound – it seems that co-operation with the other factions is not a Dauntless priority.

Axel has talked me through the different responsibilities I will have to take on at the end of my training but I get the feeling he is open to suggestions. Maybe I can persuade him that Abnegation and Candor should become my responsibility, leaving him with Amity and Erudite. It is, however, still too early in my training for that kind of discussion.

I keep pressing for a meeting with an Abnegation leader but Axel is resistant, I'm not sure whether this unwillingness is due to a long-standing dislike of Stiffs or if it is more to do with the recent flood of anti-Abnegation literature. Either way, he sees a dispute with Amity over the new Dauntless patrol route as a more important issue.

The training keeps me busy during the day and too tired to do much else come the evening and two weeks slip past without me noticing.

This evening begins in much the same way as every other this week. A quiet knock at the door lets me know that Tobias is here. We spend part of every evening together. The hours he works are more erratic than mine, they seem to change from one week to the next, but he always finds time to check in on me.

We talk and touch and it is never enough but when he kisses me gently goodbye at the door the uncertainty and doubt creep back into my mind. I'm not ready for more however much I might want to be. So I watch him go and when the door is closed behind him I lean my head against it and vow to be braver tomorrow.

The morning brings more bad news from Erudite. After days of posters and vague hints, they are finally being more explicit about the danger posed by the Divergent.

According to them, we are plotting to bring down the faction system from within. High placed Divergent across the factions, with the help of the Abnegation, and going to destroy everything we have worked to build.

The way they describe the Divergent it is like we have the power to enter and corrupt someone else's mind. Apparently, I can manipulate anyone into doing what I want.. If that was true wouldn't my first act be silencing the Erudite?

They have released statistics about the proportion of Divergent living among us. The Abnegation top the list with 25% suspected Divergent, Dauntless is second, then Erudite, Candor and Amity. No one mentions the factionless – I guess they are harder to assess. I'm not sure where these figures are coming from but, irritatingly, no one else seems to be challenging the Erudite to back up their claims with evidence.

At first I think it is odd that Erudite admit to a higher proportion of Divergent than they have given other factions, surely they could fiddle the numbers to make themselves look 'cleaner' than the rest of us. But Tobias points out that it makes the other factions more sympathetic if Erudite are seen to have an issue too. Besides, 1 in 30 is not that large a number.

It also allows them to justify the recent flurry of executions that happened last week. Ten people, who still haven't been named, were arrested, tried and executed within 24 hours. Were they all Divergent? Or did they just disagree with Jeanine Matthews? Was Caleb one of them?

Dauntless have 1 Divergent in every 10 members, according to the Erudite data. It means that, statistically speaking, there should have been _two_ Divergent initiates in my year. I think about everyone I trained with, was one of them hiding the same secret as me?

Another week passes and I finally get a date from Axel for a visit to the Abnegation sector. We visited Amity together today and I pointed out that really I need to be introduced to the other faction ambassadors. Axel wasn't pleased but he sees the sense in it.

The visit is all I can think about now. Will I see my parents? Will they believe that Erudite are planning an attack of more than just words against them? I'm certain that my mother would believe me, but meeting her might prove tricky. We are supposed to distance ourselves from the family be left behind: 'Faction over Blood'.

Another thought is turning over in my mind. What if I meet Marcus? Tobias hasn't said anything but I know he wouldn't want me to talk to his father, the father who abused him for so many years, the father who still appears in his fear landscape.

However, as Abnegation leader, really it is Marcus I should be warning, if I get the chance.

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**Any comments are much appreciated. And reviews help me to write faster... :) x**


	4. Chapter Four - Tris

**Chapter Four - Tris**

Tonight, as I open the door, I find Tobias leaning against the door frame.

"Do you want the good news first or the bad?" he says as he passes me and moves to sit on the edge of my bed.

"Bad news first," I reply, sitting down next to him.

"Ok." His eyes dart to mine and then quickly away, "I intercepted a message today from Jeanine Matthews to all the faction leaders. She has sent them a list of all possible Divergent members based on the aptitude test and any other data they have on file, Dauntless simulations for example." Tobias stops.

"I'm on that list." It is a statement not a question.

"Yes."

I wonder if he was on it too. He has never admitted to being Divergent but I still think that he is.

"Some of the names had notes attached to them, stuff like 'has a sister still in Abengation' or 'refused to attend the aptitude test willingly'. Next to your name it said: 'Aptitude test inconclusive, Dauntless simulation data incomplete and recent disregard for rules makes her a high priority. Urgent assessment required.'" He pauses to let this sink in. "And there was a second list of names. Anyone who is related to, or friends with, a suspected Divergent. That one is a very long list."

"What's the good news?" I ask.

He lets out a hollow laugh, "that you haven't been arrested yet! I lied Tris, there is no good news."

Tobias takes one of my hands in both of his. After a moment he turns it so that he can look at my palm; with one nail he traces over the lines on my skin. I heard once that you can tell how long a person will live by looking at the lines on their palm. I wonder if that is what Tobias is doing. More likely he is making a memory of me for when the Erudite take me away, it seems like only a matter of time before they do.

He lifts my hand to his lips and slowly kisses each fingertip. Then he holds my hand against his cheek, closing his eyes.

"Promise me you will keep a low profile." I pull my hand away from his face. "They will be looking for a reason to challenge you. Don't give them one."

I hold up two fingers a fraction apart, "I'm _this _close to a meeting with the Abnegation, are you suggesting that I call it off?"

"Yes, to keep you safe, yes that's exactly what I'm suggesting."

"But we have to warn them Tobias! You said it yourself."

"Not if it means risking your life!"

"Then you're saying that my life is worth more than the future of Abnegation."

"Yes! To me your life is worth more than the lives of _everyone_ in Abnegation."

I don't know what to say to that. Obviously he is exaggerating to get me to agree with him, but I can't do that.

"There's more bad news: the Candor leaders have pledged to question every Candor on Jeanine's list under truth serum. Anyone who admits to being Divergent or to knowing about their 'plot' to destroy the factions will be executed."

I gasp, I hadn't expected the other factions to side with the Erudite so fast.

"And the Dauntless leaders? What have they said?"

"Nothing yet, but I'd be surprised if they didn't respond in the same way as Candor, and soon. They have been killing Divergent unofficially for years, why not do it publicly now?"

We sit in uncomfortable silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I have always been a target, I know that. Nothing has really changed. Except that everyone I care about is at risk now too, just for knowing me.

"Has Abnegation been sent this list?"

"Yes. They haven't said anything yet either. Staying silent is the wrong move, it just makes them look guilty of something." He looks at me hard. His eyes are so intense that I have to look away, "You're still planning to visit the Abnegation?"

"It's even more important now," I say quietly. "If the other factions side with Erudite then a war against Abnegation could happen at any time."

"It's a huge risk. She will be watching you Tris. If Jeanine thinks you're a threat she won't hesitate to have you silenced - _permanently_."

"I know."

He nods and stands up, running his hand through his hair, which I notice is longer than I've ever seen it. Long enough to realise I was wrong: it is brown, not black.

I want to run my fingers through his hair. "You're not staying?"

"No. I need to get back to the control room, I just wanted you to know what's going on."

I stand too and for a moment we are still, looking at each other. The space between us is small, only one step, and I long to close the distance, to press myself against him. But I hold back.

As he leaves I feel like crying, but I don't cry easily and now is not the time to start.

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**This is a shorter chapter, but the next one is ready to post - to read it all you need to do is review!  
(Good or bad? One word from you will do.)  
Etta x**


	5. Chapter Five - Tris

**Chapter Five - Tris**

The end of the week comes at last. I have waited for Tobias to get off shift so we can go down for food together. His hand takes mine and the contact revives me – we haven't touched since the conversation about Jeanine's lists, we've hardly even talked. I've missed being close to him - I get my strength from him.

Being constantly on my guard has begun to take its toll. I've hardly slept this week but I think with Tobias near me I might just feel safe enough to close my eyes.

_Stay with me tonight_, I ask him silently. I'm not brave enough to say it out loud.

I look at his profile, his face is hard, troubled. I know he is keeping things from me but everything can wait till the tomorrow.

I sit down at our usual table and immediately realise that something has happened, no one will meet my eye. Tobias sits down beside me; the tension in his hands indicates that he too has felt the hostile atmosphere.

"What's going on?" I ask.

Will lifts a newspaper, "Have you seen this?"

My stomach clenches. Suddenly I don't feel like food. I reach across the table for the paper and hold it so that Tobias can read it too.

_**The Divergent in Dauntless**_

_Today the spotlight turns to Dauntless, the faction with the second highest proportion of Divergent after Abnegation. Estimates suggest that as many as 1 in 10 Dauntless members are Divergent, posing a significant threat to the survival of their faction. _

_The latest evidence from Erudite scientists suggests that a Divergent individual is likely to be highly successful in certain situations. The Divergent ability to recognise and manipulate simulations, for example, allows them to thrive during Dauntless initiation, deceiving everyone around them. But their apparent skill is no more than a trick. _

_One method of detection currently being developed is a test, similar to the aptitude test, which could recognise a Divergent by brain chemistry alone. This could soon be targeted at the top qualifying Dauntless members or even applied to all initiates immediately after the Choosing Ceremony. _

_Dauntless leader Max today reassured his faction that his 'Divergent Identification Team' was "working hard to neutralise the problem". He described the team as "committed and highly experienced". The DIT has been in operation for the last 5 years and in that time has removed dozens of Divergent and Divergent sympathisers from their faction._

_When asked about the Divergent members already dealt with by the DIT, Max said "of those Divergent identified in recent years, more than half have been faction transfers. And, unsurprisingly, most often they have transferred to us from Abnegation."_

The article continued with a repeat of the same abuse and accusations directed at Abnegation found in all the previous articles. Then it ended with a warning:

_If you suspect someone of being Divergent, report them to your faction leader. Especially if they are faction transfers or ranked surprisingly highly during initiation. The Divergent are a danger to us all._

"More Erudite rubbish," I say, pushing the article to Tobias who is still reading. Everyone's eyes are on me now. "What?" I snap, "If you have something to say, just say it."

"It's you, Tris," Christina whispers, "The article is describing _you_."

The silence is deafening – I have never understood that phrase before now. Tobias' hand grips my knee hard below the table, a warning to stay calm. But I'm way past that now. No chance of staying calm.

"So you all think I'm Divergent, is that it?" No one speaks; I stand up abruptly, my food forgotten. "Yesterday we were friends but today I'm… what? Planning to 'destroy you all', is that what you think?" I wave my hands as I mention the rumoured Divergent plot, like I have the magical powers Erudite claim I have.

"Sit down, Tris," Tobias mutters.

"Why? So my so-called friends can accuse me of something else just because some Erudite told them -" He interrupts me.

"It's not just 'some Erudite' this time. Look." He hands me back the article, pointing at the by-line. _J. Mathews._

Our eyes meet for a moment. This is the first article written by the Erudite leader herself. She is coming after me, just like Tobias said she would. I rub a hand over my face, giving myself time to process this new information.

"Tris is right." My head snaps up to look directly at Will. He doesn't smile, he just looks at me hard, considering. "The Erudite are trying to manipulate us. Turn friend on friend. Maybe they are targeting Tris for some reason or maybe we just jumped to conclusions. So what if she is a faction transfer? So what if she ranked highly? We know Tris, she is more Dauntless than any of us."

This is high praise and should make me feel better, but it doesn't. I'm ashamed of his trust in me, I don't deserve it. It's true I am Dauntless but I'm Divergent too. I'm not the monster that the Erudite describe but I'm Divergent all the same. Suddenly the lie feels much bigger, much harder to forgive.

Tobias is standing, an arm around my shoulders. I think he is saying something to the others but I've shut down inside. I feel like everything important to me is slipping away, like water between my fingers. If I tell the truth I will lose my friends, my family, maybe even my life. But with every lie I lose a little of myself.

We start to walk away, back down the corridor without having eaten anything.

I sense Tobias hesitate and I look up. Peter. I half expect him to confront me; publicly accuse me of only beating him in the rankings because I am Divergent. But instead he surprises me, he drops his gaze and keeps as far away as the narrow corridor will allow. He is afraid of me. His reaction makes me feel sick.

I let Tobias lead me through the Pit and up to his room. I don't even question why we are at his door not mine. Once inside, away from prying eyes, he folds me into his arms. He pulls me in so tightly that I can feel every inch of him through his clothes.

We stay like that for a long time just breathing in each other's presence. When he leans back, my fingers curl into his t-shirt, keeping him close.

Tobias fits his hands to my face, cradling my head. "I won't let her take you."

"What about you? That article could have been describing _you_ just as easily."

I start to cry. I hate myself for it but the tears have been building for days now and I can't hold it all in any longer. Tobias leads me over to the bed and as I sit down he squats in front of me.

With tears sliding down my cheeks, I must look a mess. But there is no disgust in his gaze, no pity, only patience. When I am calm his lips return to my face. He kisses my jaw, the corner of my eye, between my eyebrows and, finally, my lips.

Carefully, he guides me back on his bed until I am lying on my side, my legs tucked up almost to my chest. I must look like a scared animal, curled up. I am the prey and Jeanine Matthews has started to hunt for me. I reach out for Tobias, tugging lightly on his hand.

He hesitates. I can see a conflicted look on his face. When he pulls his hand out of my grip I feel rejected, but only for a moment. He steps out of his shoes and shrugs out of his jacket, and then he lies down beside me.

Propped up on one elbow, Tobias rolls me over so that I am on my back, staring up at him. There is no question of me leaving here tonight, I don't want to be alone and the look in Tobias' eyes makes me think he would stand guard outside my door all night rather than leave me unprotected.

He kisses me. It's gentle but urgent. As his tongue explores my mouth I slip my hands beneath his t-shirt. Tobias leans over me, with an arm on either side of my body, surrounding me; he slips one of his legs between mine and I feel his weight pressing me into the bed.

I'm not afraid of this. I know nothing more will happen tonight, we just need to feel close to each other.

It's not like I expect Jeanine to come charging through the door at any moment but these moments with Tobias suddenly seem more precious to me, like we are running out of time.

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**Please let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter Six - Tobias

**This chapter contains a line from Insurgent that I couldn't resist using, so thank you to Veronica Roth - that line and all the characters obviously belong to her.**

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**Chapter Six – Tobias  
**

When Tris wakes, I am already dressed and waiting for her. She squints at me and rubs her eyes. Her top has twisted up around her middle during the night, exposing more of her than I've been allowed to see before.

Last night I held her for hours, both of us still in our work clothes. She cried but I think it was mostly out of frustration. She is still the strongest person I know.

As we lay together we became one: my breathing synchronised with hers, my heart beat in time with hers, if only we could _think_ as one, then I might be able to protect her from herself.

After Tris fell asleep I watched her, my mind turning over and over, searching for the right thing to do. Maybe I'd understand how she's feeling better if I had people I care about in Abnegation, but I've only got her.

She looks fragile when she sleeps, like a bird, like a magpie – that's what Uriah is calling her. I need to thank him for every time he has made Tris laugh this week. I want to be the one distracting her but I just can't do it. Not when I am so consumed by the thought of losing her.

Uriah is coping surprisingly well with the Erudite campaign. Since he is Dauntless born he is facing less suspicion than Tris, but he still scored highly in initiation, which was partly due to his Divergence. The main difference, I think, is that Uriah is a better actor than Tris – she wears her emotions for all to see, I'm afraid that's what will get her hurt.

I spend half the time I'm supposed to be working watching her on the screens. She's trying to avoid drawing attention to herself but even the way she walks gives her away. I see the way her back stiffens when passes anyone reading a newspaper; I've noticed that she takes the long way around the Pit to avoid the posters. To me her secret is obvious but maybe that's just because I know what to look for. I hope so.

I move to sit on the bed beside her as she sits up.

I want to push her back down and convince her that she is safe with me. I want to kiss her, and not just on her lips but everywhere. I want to remove the last of the clothing separating us. I want to see her, _all_ of her, and, I realise with a start, I want her to see _me_ too. The thought makes my skin burn, part with embarrassment and part with desire.

But I can't do any of those things. To stay safe we need to stay one step ahead of Jeanine Matthews. We need to get up.

I kiss her forehead and brush my fingers over her cheeks, tucking the loose strands of hair back behind her ears. "You need to get up, now. There's something I have to show you."

It's early but we needed to get away without being noticed, without being followed. We reach the train just as it is passing. I don't think Tris has really woken up until now - I had to almost drag her out of the Dauntless compound.

I swing myself into the train without needing to think, as though it is the most natural thing in the world. Tris is getting better but her timing still needs work. I reach out a hand and pull her the last way inside the carriage.

Now she is sitting across from me, keeping her distance.

Last night we were the closest we've ever been, both of us needing reassurance from that physical connection. But this morning she seems to doubt me once more. Another cycle in our yo-yo relationship: one moment we are crashing together and the next moment we are flying apart.

"Where are we going?"

"It will be easier to explain when we get there." She scowls and turns her head to look out of the train, watching the city fly past. I'm not trying to be evasive – it genuinely will be easier if I tell her when we get there.

I think about starting a conversation but I don't feel like talking and Tris clearly doesn't either.

When the time comes to depart I simply stand up, knowing Tris will understand. The train is near the edge of the city and is going faster than it's really safe to jump from. Not that it's ever safe to jump from a moving train – in Dauntless 'safe' is a relative term.

I manage to keep my footing as I land but Tris stumbles and lands on one knee. She doesn't accept my hand when I offer it, not a good sign when the worst of today is yet to come.

At the end of the road I turn left and enter the second building we reach.

I go ahead, up three flights of stairs to a corridor that appears to lead nowhere except to a small maintenance cupboard. However, behind a neglected looking bookcase hides the door to the biggest secrets I have kept from Tris. She follows me as I push the bookcase gently aside and slip inside.

Her expression is difficult to read: a mixture of confusion, caution and curiosity. Now is the time for explanations.

"I was going to leave Dauntless after this year's initiation was complete. This was going to be my home."

I look around the room, trying to see it all as though I've never been here before, see it through her eyes.

The first thing you notice is literally a wall of tinned food. It has taken months to accumulate so many but I couldn't afford attracting anyone's suspicion. There is a basic cooking area and a bucket that I planned to use as a sink.

The toilet one floor down still works, though I have no idea where the waste goes now – certainly not to any water treatment plant. The plumbing for the sinks downstairs works too, that was a significant factor when I selected this building almost a year ago.

This space must originally have been a decent sized office, maybe for as many as eight people. After selecting the desk and chair in the best condition I moved the rest to another room, clearing space. The computer that sits on that desk was by far the hardest item to source; I had to build it up piece by piece.

On the roof of this building, there is a single solar panel. It was old and deemed by Dauntless to be too inefficient to keep but it does fine for me. And since it was destined to be scrap no one has missed it.

Getting it up on the roof took me days of mental preparation. The computer was essential, no question, so a power source was essential too. But even knowing how important it was, when I climbed out of the highest window and felt the wind on my skin, a cold panic froze my muscles and locked my joints in place. How I convinced myself to carry on I honestly can't remember.

Once the solar panel was in place, I dropped the hard-core survival attitude and allowed myself a few frivolous items – the kettle, the microwave and the radio.

In the corner of the room is the sleeping area. I even found a mattress in a building two blocks over. Dragging it back here and up three flights of stairs took most of an afternoon but the end result is worth it – the closest thing to a bed I could have hoped for.

"So all this time, all the time that I've know you, you've been planning to become factionless?" Her voice is cold and interrupts my reminiscing, "I assume you would have told me before you left? Or would I have just woken up one day to find that you'd gone?"

She's even more angry than I'd expected but her attitude is making me angry now too. _Like I would leave Dauntless without telling her, like I would leave at all without her!_

"I said it _was_ the plan, everything changed when I met you. But now everything is changing again. Divergent are dying in every faction, we need to get out while we still can."

"We? So you _are _Divergent too then. You've never actually told me, you know. I trusted you but you've never trusted me!"

"How can you say that? How dare you! I took you into my fear landscape, I've told you more about my past than I've ever shared with anyone!" I turn away from her; I can't leave until we've talked this through but that doesn't mean I need to look at her.

"_Tobias_." I remember the first time she said my name, when all the connections fell into place and she realised who I was. I remember every time she has said it since; when she says my name I remember who I really am.

"I'm sorry." Her voice is so quiet I barely hear her. A hand tentatively rests on my shoulder. I shrug it off, it feels petty but I'm angry and upset and I don't want her sympathy.

"If we stay in Dauntless they will find you. Then they will torture you. And then you will die." Just saying it feels like I've taken a punch to the chest. "And if you die, I die too."

"Tobias. _Please_." She is right behind me, begging.

"What?"

"Look at me. Please." I tense. I need to stay calm and looking at her will make that harder than it already is.

Her hand returns to my shoulder and this time I it let stay there, warming my skin. Then I feel her move closer.

She rests her head between my shoulder blades and wraps her free arm around my waist. I begin to relax. This is what I want; it is _all_ I want. For us to be together.

Why does it have to be so hard?

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**They still have lots to talk about but this chapter was getting way too long.  
Please review, it makes my day :)**


	7. Chapter Seven - Tobias

**Chapter Seven - Tobias**

With Tris pressed against my back and her arms around me, I feel safe. I tell her everything, the words spilling from my lips - it's like a dam inside me has broken and the truth is flowing out of me, filling the room around us.

I tell her about Marcus and how I knew I needed to leave Abnegation long before my aptitude test. I tell her how I longed for my test to say any faction but Abnegation, to tell me that I belonged somewhere else though deep down I knew I belonged where I was. I tell her how I have never been worthy of Dauntless - in my first act, of choosing them, I proved I was not brave enough to fit in. I tell her how I am ashamed of myself, that I am a coward to my core.

I'm no Candor but this flood of honesty makes me feel lighter. I don't suddenly want the whole world to know my secrets, but I want Tris to know the truth, to see me and accept me as I am.

"I am too weak for Abnegation, too much of a coward for Dauntless. I don't belong anywhere."

"You belong with me." Her voice is muffled by my jumper. Finally, I turn and look down at her, taking her face in my hands. She smiles weakly up at me and says it again, "Tobias, you belong with me."

I kiss her and she kisses me back. Her hands are on my neck; my fingers are in her hair.

As we break apart I say, "There's more." I can see the muscles in her back and arms tense, like she is bracing herself for the worst. "What do you remember about my mother?"

Her eyebrows pull together in a frown. "Not much. I remember her funeral."

I remember her funeral too. And I remember Tris being there, sitting alone. Maybe I knew then that there was something special about her... No. I didn't feel this way about anyone back then. I don't think I knew how. But still, I _do_ remember her being there.

"My mother made an apple pie," she continues, "I remember because we never had apple pie, eating for pleasure was indulgent."

I don't say anything but I don't remember the pie. I'm not sure I ate anything that day or for couple of days after. I wanted to waste away so that I could be with my mother. So that I could get away from _him_.

"She isn't dead. She left Abnegation and became factionless. Marcus must have been ashamed or maybe he just wanted to avoid any questions – like why she didn't want to stay with him. So he told everyone she had died, even me."

Tris squeezes my hand. "When did you find out?"

"She came and found me, after my initiation. Told me everything."

"So you want to be with her. You want her to come and live with you here?" There is almost jealousy in her voice. She doesn't understand how I felt when Evelyn suddenly reappeared in my life.

I am not a naturally forgiving person. Together we had been allies, we had protected each other. But she abandoned me. My mother could have taken me with her but instead she left me behind - with Marcus.

"I'm not doing any of this for her. I don't want to live with her. And anyway, this isn't how the factionless usually live."

"What do you mean?"

"You think the factionless are spread across the city, living in twos or threes. Well they're not. They're like a faction of their own, living together in big communities, helping each other. And my mother is their leader."

Tris is biting her bottom lip, trying to absorb all this new information. In less than five minutes her view of the world has changed, been turned upside down.

Our hands are still linked so I lead her over to the mattress covered with an assortment of blankets. We sit side-by-side, leaning against the cold wall, thinking.

"How would we stop the Erudite from here? We won't be able to do anything except watch as our world falls apart."

My heart feels lighter. If Tris is asking questions then she is considering staying. She wants to listen to me, weigh the pros and cons.

"I can still intercept messages, and maybe even hack into the Erudite computer network. Here we aren't being monitored 24-7, we can concentrate on stopping the war instead of protecting ourselves." Tris sighs and rubs the side of her neck. I know this argument has hit home – we both know how pretending all the time is taking its toll on her.

"It's going to get harder and harder to hide now because Dauntless has joined with Erudite against the Divergent. Max has told Jeanine to send him 50 vials of fear serum - for '_interrogations_'."

I remember first being told about fear serum. It was developed to be used during Dauntless initiation, but it was too strong. You couldn't learn anything about overcoming fear from taking it, so it was dropped and the simulations were developed instead.

"What does fear serum do?"

I run my thumb down the clammy skin of her palm. "It's a form of torture, Tris."

We are lost in thought again for several minutes, both of us wondering the same thing: how would we hold up under that kind of interrogation? Would we break?

"So that's Erudite, Candor and Dauntless. At least Amity hasn't sided with them too." Tris laughs at the thought but I squeeze her hand hard - hard enough to make her stop and look at me.

"They have, Tris. I only found out yesterday but Johanna Reyes announced that their faction has agreed to 'treat the Divergent' with memory serum and rehabilitation."

"Rehabilitation?" she splutters, "Being Divergent isn't a disease!"

"Isn't it? What do we really know Tris? They could be right."

"That's stupid. We're not planning to destroy the faction system, we can't read minds or manipulate people. You know they're wrong about those things - they are wrong about this too. We're not ill, just… _different_."

"Different is dangerous, even the Amity are afraid. We can't be controlled so we have to be eliminated."

She shakes her head but stays silent, thinking once more. The Erudite part of her brain is working hard to make sense of everything.

But fear doesn't always make sense - it can be irrational.

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**Just so you know, I'm not planning to go down the GP/GD route with this story. **


	8. Chapter Eight - Tobias

**Thank you to Pottergirl3333 for reviewing chapter seven and everyone who has read this far – you're all amazing!**

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**Chapter Eight - Tobias**

The microwave _pings!_ and I drag my eyes away from Tris as she stands by the window, looking out onto the empty street and all its forgotten buildings.

I have divided a can of soup between two mugs and taking one steaming mug in each hand, I join Tris at the window.

Handing one portion of soup over I see curiosity alive in her face, again I am reminded of how much thinking she does - not so unlike the Erudite we both hate.

"I wonder what this building used to be."

"An office, I think."

"Yeah, but what did they _do_? And how long ago did they leave? Loads of people must have left the city or died suddenly because there just aren't enough people to fill all these building anymore."

"What does it matter? I think we have enough problems of our own without worrying about people who are long gone now." As soon as the words are out of my mouth I regret them. Why couldn't I have just let her mind forget for a while? Let her be young and carefree and curious, like she should be.

Tris sighs and turns away from the window. There is no sofa here so we both silently return to the mattress with our simple meal.

"So, what's the plan then?"

I frown at her, "What d'you mean?" I ask between mouthfuls of soup.

"You think we can save the world from here so you must have a plan. We can't just rely on your excellent computer skills." She leans over to put her empty mug on the floor, taking her time and avoiding my eyes. I can't tell if she is genuinely considering this as an option or just looking for ways to pick-apart my reasons for staying.

"Well," I say, choosing my words carefully, "if we stay here, we can meet with the Abnegation leaders without raising suspicion."

"How would we meet with them?"

"You still have family there, would they listen to you?"

She twists her lips together. "Maybe, I don't know. My mother would I think. But I haven't seen my father since the choosing ceremony, I don't know if he's still angry with me."

"If you go to him as factionless, he is more likely to listen."

"Maybe. But if I go to him as a Dauntless ambassador then our warning will carry more weight."

"What are you even going to say?"

Tris turns and looks at me hard, "The truth. Erudite are planning a war against them. They plan to use Dauntless as their army."

"But we don't know when they will attack or how they will get us to fight for them."

"Yes we do," she says quietly, leaning back against the wall, "It's obvious once you really think about it."

I realise that I'm hardly breathing as she continues, "Erudite control the papers so the news is always what they want us to hear. They started small, just posters and whispers - spreading rumours. Then the articles began, still nothing specific but enough to get people worried: What are the Divergent? _W__ho_ are they? Maybe some people had thought about us before but for the first time they're afraid.

"At the same time we are still getting the same anti-Abnegation messages they've been telling us for months: Abnegation are keeping supplies back, keeping us poor. Maybe they are keeping secrets too.

"Then subtly they began to mix the two messages without ever explicitly linking them – no, we did _that_ ourselves and didn't even notice. An article would start with an attack on Abnegation and end with a warning about the Divergent, or vice versa.

"Now people are afraid but they have someone to blame: Abnegation. The faction with the highest number of Divergent. The faction that are keeping secrets from us.

"Every other faction has turned against the Divergent simply because of a rumour; it won't be long before they turn on Abnegation too."

I listen in silence. As she speaks I feel an icy spider climbing up my spine. Tris is right – if this is their plan it was obvious from the start. But no one noticed.

It is Erudite that have manipulated the leaders of every faction, not the Divergent. _Are we too late to stop this?_

"How many other people like us do you know of?" she asks.

I look away. If Uriah wants Tris to know about him, then he needs to tell her himself; it is not my place to say.

"How many Tobias?"

"I used to know of three but only one of them is still alive. Tori's brother, George, and Amar are dead. Amar was my initiation instructor; he taught me to hide my Divergence but he couldn't hide his own. He was here one day and dead the next... There is one other that I know of but it's not my place to tell you who."

"Do I know them?"

"Yes."

She is thinking, biting down on her bottom lip.

"If we leave, would you leave this person behind or take them with us?"

"I don't think he would come, it may be better for him not too. He is not on Jeanine's list. He's hidden his Divergence better than either of us."

"But you would give him the choice?"

In all honesty, I hadn't thought about taking Uriah. It makes me feel bad that I overlooked him but I really do think he is safer in Dauntless. Leaving would mean declaring his hand, making himself a target when he isn't one at present. And I don't know how Zeke would take it... badly, I think.

"Yes, if that's what you think I should do, then I will ask him."

Tris is anxiously twisting her fingers together in her lap. "How long do you think all this will last with three of us here?" she asks, nodding to the wall of accumulated tinned food.

"We'd manage."

"Not for long, then we'd need to rely on Abnegation for hand-outs. We'd need _them_ to support _us _when it should be the other way around."

"We'd manage, Tris. There are other ways of getting food."

Her voice remains soft but her words are harsh, "It's selfish, Tobias, you must see that. You want us to run away and hide when we should stand and fight."

"I want us to survive! We can't help anyone if we're dead." I don't want to argue again so I turn my head and kiss her. She resists me for a moment but underneath all her talk of bravery and fighting, I know that she is tired and afraid.

Our kiss deepens and her fingers curl into fists in my jumper. I slip my hands under her top, keeping one hand at her waist while the other travels slowly up her spine.

She moves to sit on top of me, her knees on either side of my thighs. The weight of her on my lap makes me groan. I rest my head on her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her skin. I want more and it's getting so difficult to hold back.

I press kisses into her neck and try to lift her top up and over her head. She stops me. "We can't. Not now, not… _here_." It is the 'here' that seems to bother her most, like moving our relationship on now is the same as agreeing to stay here with me forever.

"Why not?" I'm not thinking about sex anymore, I'm asking about this chance to be together, to be _safe_. I need her and she needs me, why is that not reason enough?

She understands my question. "I need time." I stare at her, she holds my gaze. "Leaving Dauntless…" she shakes her head. "Tobias, I need time to think this through."

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**So will Tris stay in Dauntless or leave to become factionless with Tobias? Answer coming up in chapter nine, which will be back to Tris' POV.**


	9. Chapter Nine - Tris

**Thank you to immortalitymydarling for reviewing chapter 8, this chapter is for you :)**

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**Chapter Nine - Tris**

Standing outside the door to the control room, I hesitate. This is the first time I have come to find Tobias while he is working. Maybe I should just wait until later...

The door opens and someone comes out into the corridor, I'm stepping to one side to let them pass when I hear, "Tris?" I look up. It's Zeke. "Are you looking for Four? He's here, I can get him for you?"

I smile, "Yes, thanks Zeke." I'm still amazed by how quickly Tobias' friends have accepted me, accepted _us_. "Is he busy?"

"Shouldn't be, it nearly the end of his shift, come on in." He holds the door for me, I'm small enough to slip in under his arm. Zeke calls, "Four!" and I see Tobias' head pop up from behind a computer. His eyes shift from Zeke to me and I see a flash of anxiety pass across his face. He hides it almost instantly - if I didn't know him as well as I do, I'm sure I would have missed it.

"Tris. I'll just be a minute, can you wait?" I nod and, moving to where I can see him better, I perch on the edge of an empty desk.

Watching Tobias at work is fascinating, it's a side of him I've never seen before. His fingers fly across the keys. There is so much information on the screen I don't know how he takes it all in. There is a second computer running beside him that just shows lines and lines of code that means nothing to me - it must mean something to Tobias though because he glances across at it every few seconds.

The look of concentration on his face, the purposeful way he types – it is hypnotising. I only snap out of my Tobias-induced trance when his swivels in his chair to face me.

"Ready?" I ask, ignoring the fuzzy feeling I get every time he looks at me like this – like I'm the only thing that exists.

"Yes," he replies and I follow him out of the control room.

As we walk towards his apartment, which is nearer than mine, I lace our fingers together. It's our thing, our way of saying '_everything will be ok because we have each other_'. I just hope that's true, that being together will be enough.

When his door closes I turn to face him. He's waiting for me to speak.

"I've thought it through." I don't need to explain what the 'it' is. "I have to stay here, Tobias. In Dauntless."

He nods, looking over my head instead of meeting my eyes. He doesn't look angry at my decision, just tired.

I continue, "If I stay here I can help to stop whatever is coming. But I won't stop you. You can go without me."

"I'd never go without you," his voice is as hard as I've ever heard it. He sighs and finally looks down at me, "You don't understand what will happen if we stay."

"I understand that it's the only way to stop Dauntless from becoming an Erudite army."

"And what if you can't stop them?"

I have no answer for that. It's the question that haunts me whether I'm awake or asleep.

"I have to try," I whisper. I can't say it any louder; I can't acknowledge that failure is a possibility, not when my family's lives are at stake.

Tobias nods again but says nothing in reply. I'm surprised that this has been so easy, that we haven't argued again – maybe Tobias expected me to say no. Probably. I think he knows me well enough now to understand how I think.

There is a selfish part of me that's relieved (though not surprised) that he won't go without me, I need him here. I need him.

Reaching up on my tiptoes I brush my mouth over his. Tobias doesn't respond but I persist, pressing my lips against his and curling my fingers round his neck.

Eventually, with another sigh, he parts his lips and kisses me back. One of his hands laces through my hair, tilting my head so that he can kiss me harder. His other hand sweeps down my back and over my butt. I gasp at the feel of his hand resting there; Tobias chuckles and pulls me closer to him. I know I'm blushing but I laugh too.

_We'll be ok, we'll be ok, _I tell myself. It's easier to believe when I can feel his heart beating and his breath on my skin.

Then an alarm screams from all around us, slicing through my skull and stealing every thought of safety. We spring apart but we don't break the contact between us.

The sound reminds me a little of the fire drills we used to have at school, but it's louder and more like a wail than a continuous sound. And anyway, Dauntless doesn't seem like the sort of place to have fire alarms, let alone fire drills.

"What does it mean?" I ask.

"I don't know. Something bad." He moves over to the door and opens it onto a scene of total confusion.

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**Hi guys, thanks for reading. **

**I'm sorry that the last few chapters have been a bit slow, but things will start to move more quickly from now, if you still want me to continue? **

**Lyetta x**


	10. Chapter Ten - Tris

**Chapter Ten - Tris**

I'm still clutching his hand as we move out into the stream of people. Tobias is taller than me so I wait while he looks left and right, above the heads of so many people. Most are moving down the corridor but everyone shares the same look of uncertainty.

They are Dauntless – they are brave. But without a clear enemy, they are unsure how to react.

A hand grabs my shoulder and as I turn to pull away I see Uriah.

"Tris-" he starts to speak but behind us another voice rises above the volume of the alarm:

"To the Pit!" It calls and subtly the movement of people around us changes, becoming more orderly.

"Come on," I say, grabbing Uriah's hand so we don't lose him in the crowd.

The corridor clears ahead of us as people spread out, filling the Pit. I can see Max and Eric at the front, watching. The three of us move towards the back of the crowd as the alarm continues calling out to people in every corner of the compound.

"They want us all together, the whole of Dauntless."

"But why?" I ask. I don't really expect Tobias to give me an answer but as he looks down at me I'm surprised by how dark his eyes are. I don't think it is fear I can see in his face, it looks more like he is preparing himself for a fight.

Standing on tiptoe and wrapping one arm around his neck, I pull Tobias closer enough for me to press my lips to his ear, "Don't react, whatever they say or do."

I stay with my cheek against his for a moment, feeling the whisper of his breath on my skin, then I step away.

"Hi Tris. Four." Will joins us, Christina at his side. Christina's eyes are wide as she looks at the faces of people on either side of us, but as I look around my gaze fixes on Uriah.

His eyes constantly flit between our group and the platform at the end of the Pit. He is swaying slightly on the spot. "Any idea what all this is about?" he asks. Everyone is a bit twitchy but this anxiety is totally out of character for Uriah. I'm about to ask if he's alright when a voice from the platform causes a hush to ripple out from the front to the back of the crowd.

By the time the people around us have stopped talking we can hear that Max has begun.

"-called you together. The threat from the Divergent and their supporters in Abnegation has reached such a level that all of Dauntless now needs to play their part in our survival. I know you are all already looking out for anyone acting suspiciously - it is vitally important that you report any odd behaviour immediately.

"In Erudite, Candor and Amity there are still people loyal to this city, we must join with them now!"

Max begins to inform the rest of Dauntless what the other factions have agreed to do: interrogate and then murder, experiment on or 'treat' the Divergent. None of this is new to me so I take the opportunity to look around the Pit. The Dauntless around us all seem to have the same rabbit-in-the-headlights expression. But they are listening and nodding and none of them are _thinking_ for themselves!

No one is questioning what Max tells them, no one is asking for proof or justification. They don't see that they are being manipulated by the Dauntless leaders in allegiance with the Erudite.

I turn my attention back to Max, hatred burning like an inferno deep inside me.

"To protect Dauntless, our compound perimeter will be more closely guarded from now on. We must prevent our enemies entering. And so, affective tonight, there will be a curfew of 9pm for returning to the Dauntless compound."

Some low level grumbling follows this statement but no one stands up to argue against it.

"Also starting now, anyone under investigation and suspected of posing a significant threat to the future of Dauntless will be publically questioned right here in the Pit. Erudite have kindly supplied us with everything we need for successful interrogations. Anyone convicted will be executed.

"Some of you may think this is an extreme reaction but believe me when I say we have exhausted all other options. Only the removal of those who work against us will make our faction strong enough to survive the trying times ahead.

"Above all others, Erudite are our ally in this fight against the Divergent. They have requested our assistance in guarding the labs where they are working around-the-clock on a more permanent solution for us all. And so we ask you: who will be brave enough to protect our future? Who will volunteer to assist the Erudite?"

I see Eric step forward and it's no surprise when Max informs the crowd that anyone interested in this '_worthy role_' as an Erudite guard dog should speak to Eric. I'm also unsurprised when, after Max has dismissed the crowd a few minutes later, I see Peter go straight to Eric.

The Pit is slowly clearing all around us but silently our group, which now also includes Zeke, agrees to stay behind.

When we are almost the only people left Will breaks the silence. "This is the first time in the history of our city that there has been inter-faction co-operation on this scale," he says in a voice that is stone cold. No pride. No celebration. "This isn't right." From the corner of my eye I watch as he looks round at us all but no one is looking back at him. "Am I the only one who thinks this is all wrong?!"

"No," Tobias cuts across him, "You're just the only one stupid enough to say it out loud."

"What are you saying Four? You think I'm stupid for being brave enough to say what everyone else is thinking? _Someone_ needs to challenge what is happening!"

"I'm saying this is a dangerous time to be challenging your leaders, when words like 'interrogation' and 'execution' are being thrown around. _Use your brain_."

Will and Tobias are staring at each other; it's so intense that flashes of silent communication seem to fly between them.

I feel like this is the first time I really see Will for who he is. Yes, he is still the fun, friendly guy I meet during initiation. The guy who looks out for his friends and makes Christina happy. But he is more than that. He could be a leader. A _good _leader, I think - given the chance.

"Four," Zeke says, stepping between them. He's looking at Tobias almost with concern. "Chill out."

Zeke turns to the rest of us. "All this will pass soon enough. The Divergent will be stopped and then everything can go back to how it was before. Max wouldn't ask us to work with Erudite unless it was the only way."

"What if it's all just one big lie?" Even I am surprised to hear myself ask the question. "What if Erudite want more than just the end of the Divergent?" Zeke is looking at me like he thinks I'm joking. No, like he _hopes_ I'm joking.

One glance at Tobias is enough. His eyes speak for him: _careful Tris, this is dangerous talk._ The warning hits home, so I bite my lip and say nothing more.

But from the looks I'm getting, the damage may already be done.

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**I know there has been a bit of a gap between posting chapters 9 and 10. If I'm honest I've been wondering whether I should continue with this or not… I can't read your minds – if you think this is worth spending time writing then please let me know. Equally if you don't think it's any good then tell me that too.**

**Etta x**


	11. Chapter Eleven - Tobias

**For love eat write, iamawesome121219, Pottergirl3333, mileyismyhorse and immortalitymydarling for reviewing chapter 10 and generally being amazing! :)**

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**Chapter Eleven - Tobias**

The walls around me turn into open sky and the floor beneath my feet transforms into the roof of the tallest building my mind can imagine. My knees tremble and my hands curl into fists. I hate this. I hate heights.

I can't look. I shut my eyes but I can still feel the wind as it slaps my face and hear the snap of my jacket as it's blown in all directions.

I take one small step forward but my shaking legs won't hold me and I crash down onto my knees. A thick blanket of air presses hard on my back, preventing me from rising. So instead I crawl forward, still with my eyes clamped closed.

But then I stop. And no matter how hard I try to force my arms and legs to move, an icy coldness has them frozen still.

_I have faced this before. I have lived through this before _says the whispered voice of reason. It's true; I have been here countless times before. So why isn't it getting any easier?

_This is pathetic._ I press my face down into the ground hard, so hard that I can feel the rough surface cutting into my cheek. _Get up!_ But I can't, and the shame makes me feel almost as sick as the fear.

Then a memory surfaces: I got through this with her. She took my hand and we did it together.

The thought makes me strong, makes me brave. Brave enough to open my eyes and squint towards the edge of the building. This isn't real, only the fear is real. And fear can be overcome.

I get to my knees and from there, after a moment's pause, I get to my feet and look up. The sky is a uniform blue canvas but I force my eyes to discern a wisp of cloud far in front of me. I focus only on this smudge of white and take one step forward. Then another. And another, each step faster than the one before until I am running and the roof disappears below my feet.

My mouth opens but the scream dies before it passes my lips. I lose sight of my cloud and see only a blur of blue and black and grey as the sky and the ground rush towards each other. But the ultimate collision never comes.

_One down, three to go._ For a heartbeat I realise how insane I must be to continue coming here. But it is too late to change my mind - way too late. The wall on my left has closed in already and the gap above my head is shrinking every second.

Crouching, I wrap my arms tightly about my shins. Then I concentrate on my breathing, allowing each breath to fill my lungs and then slowly escape between my gritted teeth. Cold concrete presses on my spine and against my skull. I resist the urge to push back.

A new breath fills me and with it comes a warm feeling starting in my chest. It spreads out into my arms and right down to my toes. This time as I exhale, the fear seems to leave me too.

The walls enclosing me vanish. I stand and stretch every muscle, just because I can, and feel some of the tension inside me ease.

Then a jolt goes through me.

I am in an unfamiliar room. The walls are white and there is no furniture except a chair. I look at it closely, the cheap plastic seat reminds me of a hospital; it is bolted to the floor. There is no table, no gun. I am alone.

This is new... 'New' is not good.

A door I hadn't noticed opens and two men dressed from head-to-toe in Dauntless black walk towards me; they never look at me directly and their faces are expressionless. They each grip one of my arms and though I struggle hard they easily drag me backwards until I am forced down onto the plastic chair.

A third man enters. He brings in a high backed wooden chair. It has wide arm rests and looks heavy; it could almost be described as a throne. This new chair is place directly in front of mine, about 4 metres away. I'm staring at the chair and wondering what it could mean when I first hear the shouting, distant at first but coming closer every second.

I know it is Tris before I see her - how could I _not_ recognise her voice?

It takes two of them to carry her in. Her legs kick wildly but whenever her feet make contact with the men holding her they give no reaction what-so-ever, they feel no pain.

Tris twists in their grip and she manages to elbow one of the men in the face. _I taught her that._ For a second I am sure she will break free, then a sharp punch comes out of nowhere and I see her head snap back with the impact.

"Let me go!" I nearly make it to my feet before the Dauntless thugs shove me back down, "Let. Me. Go!" But shouting is clearly useless, they ignore me completely.

Tris is sitting in the wooden chair now, she looks dazed. Straps have been tied around her wrists and ankles and there is blood on her face. She is writhing in the chair, looking for a weak point in the bonds restraining her. I'm fighting too.

The men want her to be still, one takes hold of her shoulders while the second forces her head back against the chair. They get her pinned in place.

"Tris!" My throat is being to hurt but I continue shouting.

I have been so focussed on Tris since they carried her in that I had ignored the man who first brought in her chair. Now I see him once more, standing behind Tris. I watch as he fills a syringe.

Suddenly, I know what is about to happen, what I am about to see. The realisation makes me fight harder to get free. The liquid inside the syringe catches the light and somehow I know, without ever having been told, that purple means death.

The serum is a dark purple.

The man holding Tris' head tilts it to one side, giving the third man the access he needs. Just as the syringe goes into her neck Tris stops struggling and falls silent. Her eyes search the room to find mine. Her beautiful eyes, filled with fear and anger and a fierce courage that is so real, so _her_, that my heart stops.

Then the light in her eyes dims and her face goes slack. She dies.

I scream - just sound, no words. I scream so loudly that my ears hurt and my throat burns. I am caught out of time. No matter how much I thrash against the arms holding me or how loudly I scream, I can't reach her. The world around me has stopped and I am trapped in this moment forever.

_Tris. Oh God, Tris. Wake up! Please wake up… _

_Please. _

Eventually my body gives in to exhaustion. I can no longer thrash. I can no longer scream. I can only stare at her, at her eyes that stare back without seeing me.

My heart rate must have returned to normal because the scene around me fades and I am no longer held in place. I slump forward onto my knees and stay there.

The fear landscape gives me no time for rest. I hear footsteps and see a familiar pair of shoes.

"Get up," he says. I don't move. "I said, get up. This is for your own good." At the sound of his voice, there is a growing anxiety inside me but it is dull in comparison to what I have just experienced.

Finally I have a fear that my father cannot compete with.

I hear the swish of the belt through the air and feel the sting of its impact on my skin but I still haven't moved.

This scene fades away too, faster than ever before - I feel like I have cheated. The fear landscape thinks I have calmed myself down, in reality I am too worn out to feel anything.

There is still a burning where the belt struck me but much worse is the emptiness inside me. I feel heavy with it, too heavy to get up or even move to a more comfortable position. My legs go numb.

My mind goes over and over the new fear. Analysing it until I can't believe it took me by surprise. _Of course she is in my fear landscape, how could she not be?_

It is hours before I drag myself to my feet. The sun is beginning to rise and I've had no sleep. Tired feet carry me to my door but there I stop. I _know_ it isn't real. I know it's just a projection of my fears. But rational thought does me no good.

I continue on until it is her door I am facing. Quietly, I pick the lock and enter.

Tris is lying on her side. Half her face is buried in a pillow but I can see one eye, her nose, the corner of her mouth. Her forehead is creased slightly - it makes her look worried. I am tempted to wake her up but I shouldn't even be here.

I lean against the wall and slide down until I'm sitting on her bedroom floor. If she wakes up now what would I say? That I love her? That losing her is the worst thing I can imagine? Maybe if I admitted that she would agree to leave with me. I feel guilty for even thinking it, but maybe she _would_ and then she'd be safe.

No. I have promised myself not to bring the flat up again. Going over and over it doesn't do either of us any good.

People are my weakness. For as long back as I can remember I have known what it is like to fear someone's presence: to be always looking out for them, to feel your heart race and your breathing stop when they look at you.

Now I am beginning to know what it feels like to fear someone's absence. I think this new fear is worse. Absence is forever. Her absence is an emptiness that I know could never be filled.

Tris rolls over and her breathing changes subtly, letting me know that she will wake soon. I pull myself up and walk quietly to the door, pausing as I open it to look back at her just one last time.

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**This was a difficult chapter to write, any comments? **

**Etta x**


	12. Chapter Twelve - Tobias

**Chapter Twelve – Tobias**

It is late in the evening and we are drinking by the chasm. I've hardly touched my drink but Tris is on her third. She's not used to the alcohol and its showing.

I suspect the only reason Tris insisted we come here is to avoid a repeat of our recent arguments. She doesn't want to talk about her outburst in the Pit last night when Max and Eric revealed their plan to support an Erudite war on the Divergent.

We both know that I won't bring it up with people all around us.

In truth, I don't want to argue any more than she does. I just want to be alone with her. I want to forget that we are anything but an ordinary couple with only ordinary things to worry about.

I've been distracted all day in the control room and Zeke has begun to notice. My mind is so often on Tris that I'm slipping up, making basic mistakes. I need to get a grip.

Tomorrow is her scheduled visit to Abnegation, I'm trying to convince myself that the powers that be will overlook it – see it as Tris hopes they will: just a normal part of her role as faction ambassador.

Axel and Tris will leave the Dauntless compound tomorrow morning, meet the Abnegation ambassador for a morning meeting, stay for lunch and then have a second formal meeting in the afternoon. They're not meeting with Marcus, for that at least I am grateful.

A young couple walk past where we are sitting, they're maybe two years older than I am. The guy has his arm draped across his girlfriend's shoulder. We catch a few words of their conversation.

"Of course I went straight to Eric this morning to volunteer. I'll be so much more useful over at Erudite HQ than guarding the fence. _And_ Eric has told me there's a really possibility of advancement with this new role – opportunities for people who make a good impression with Max, you know what I mean." His girlfriend beams up at him as he continues. "You've got to hand it to him - Max is the best thing that's happened to Dauntless for a long time. _Finally_ we have a leader strong enough to make a stand against our enemies in other factions."

As they walk out of ear-shot, Tris laughs coldly. "Max is no longer our leader - Jeanine Matthews is running Dauntless now."

Several people sitting near us turn to see who has spoken. Some of them scowl at us or tut loudly before turning back to their own conversations. Only one person continues to stare.

Over Tris' shoulder I see him drain his glass and stand up. My blood runs cold as he catches my eye. Is that a triumphant glint in his expression? I hardly dare breathe as I watch Eric turn and walk away from us. Has he gone to get reinforcements? Maybe. Gone to tell Max what he's overheard? Almost certainly.

Either way, staying here now seems foolish.

Tris hasn't seen Eric so I don't mention him, I don't want to worry her or risk provoking more rebellious comments… With all the alcohol flowing through her, I'm not sure that I trust Tris not to make a scene.

"Let's get out of her," I say, trying to sound casual. To my relief, she stands up and lets me lead her away from the chasm.

Once I hear the door to my room click closed I turn to Tris, looking as serious as possible. I remind myself that, not that long ago, we were instructor and initiate. She listened to my advice then, I hope that she will now too.

"You need to be careful, Tris. Watch what you say _and where you say it_ – you don't know who could be listening."

"I'm not a coward. I won't sit back and let them destroy this city."

"I'm not asking you to." I force Tris back until she is pressed against the wall.

I'm trying to scare her; I want her to see how vulnerable she is. I push against her harder, expecting to feel her fight back but if anything she is now pressing herself closer to me. Her hands reach up into my hair, pulling me in.

My lips crash down onto hers. I'm not gentle, I'm not kind. I have no self-control, but from the way she is kissing me back, I don't think she wants me to stop.

The alcohol has made her brave. Tris hooks her fingers into the belt loops on my trousers and pulls our lower bodies together. I groan, pressing my face into the place where her shoulder meets her neck.

It's still not enough. I quickly pull my top over my head, needing to feel her hands on me, skin on skin. Tris touches me hungrily and I slip my fingers under the hem of her top, stroking her lower back.

Even with clothing between us, as my hips thrust into hers I am rewarded with a gasp. I slide one hand down to her thigh and lift up her leg. This time when I thrust against her she tips her head back with a guttural moan, the sound sends a rush of desire straight through me. I cover her neck with kisses and move my fingers to the button of her trousers.

"Tobias. Wait." Her fingers have closed over mine, stopping me from undoing the button I was millimetres away from releasing.

"We don't have to do anything, I just…" I don't know how to explain. I want tonight to be special but I don't want to admit (even to myself) just how terrified I am that everything is about to fall apart…

Max telling the whole of Dauntless to be ready for interrogations and executions. Eric's face as he walked away from us tonight. The way Tris is stubbornly pursuing the path to righteous self-destruction. None of these are good signs.

I step back, taking Tris' hands in mine, and lead her to the bed. We sit together, side-by-side, our shoulders touching and our hands still linked. If I was the sort of person who talks easily about their feelings, now would be the time to tell her how much she means to me. But I'm not that person.

I try to speak to her with actions alone. I loosen her jacket and peal the tight fabric off her arms. Beneath it she is wearing a black tank top. I run my fingers across her jaw, down her neck and over the ravens on her collar bone, then I follow the same path with my lips.

"You're beautiful," I whisper.

She buries her face in my neck; I can tell she is embarrassed. Smiling, I press another kiss into her hair and pull her back until we are lying wrapped around each other. I can feel her sigh against my skin as she wriggles closer, getting comfortable.

"Don't you want to get changed?" I ask.

"I just want to stay like this."

_Me too_. Oh may the morning never come.

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**Please review, it makes my day :)  
Lyetta x**


	13. Chapter Thirteen - Tris

**So here is Chapter 13, unlucky for some…**

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**Chapter Thirteen – Tris**

I wake to see Tobias looking at me. Our heads share one of the pillows on his bed. He looks tired and for a moment I wonder if he actually slept at all last night.

Silently, he traces my hairline with one finger while his gaze flicks between my eyes and my lips. I expect him to kiss me but he doesn't. Instead he rolls away and heads into the bathroom to shower.

In just over thirty minutes we are both washed, dressed and have eaten breakfast. Now the time has come for me to leave. I try to catch Tobias' eye to say goodbye but he's avoiding looking at me. He's not even being subtle about it. _Why is he making this so much harder than it needs to be?_

Well, I can't wait all day for him to get a grip.

As I start to walk away I feel a hand close around my wrist, turning me back towards him. Tobias's mouth covers mine as his other hand grips my head, lacing his fingers through my hair. Then it's over, just as abruptly as it began, and he is walking away from me.

From the outside maybe it looks like he's in a bad mood. But I know him better. There was fear in his kiss - he knows there is nothing now he can say to stop me going but he wants me to stay.

"_I can't_," I whisper, as I watch him turn the corner out of sight, "_we have to warn them_."

Axel is waiting impatiently for me beside the train tracks. "Hey," I say. He nods back and we leave the compound together.

When we jump off the train on the edge of the Abnegation sector, we are met by their ambassador, a plain looking man called Martin. I don't recognise him but I didn't really expect to. His eyes hesitate on me for a fraction longer than necessary as we are introduced – does he recognise me?

Martin walks us to a meeting hall and the first of our official discussions passes me by - I should be listening, learning from Axel, but I can't focus on anything that they are saying.

The morning flies past in a blur, like the view of the city from a train, and soon we are shown though a side door to a second room where lunch is waiting. I am nervous all through the meal and barely touch the bland food we are given. When will the right moment arrive? I need to be away from Axel before I can say anything about Erudite.

Our second meeting passes without a single contribution from me. They are discussing the deliveries of food from Amity, which the Dauntless supervise. Martin is very direct, almost as if he wants us to leave as soon as possible... And then suddenly Axel is packing away his things and leaving.

We're leaving! Leaving before I've had a chance to catch the ambassador alone! Panic grips my chest. Now. It has to be now, or never.

"Axel," I call to him just as we step back out into the cold, clear day, "I've left my bag, I just-" my words trail off as I turn back.

I jog back along the corridor and through the open door into the meeting room, my heart knocking against my chest.

The Abnegation ambassador has barely looked up from his papers when I start talking, my words coming out as a whispered rush. "The Erudite have made plans to rise against the government. Plans for war. They're going to get Dauntless to fight for them."

"Excuse me?"

"The Erudite - they're plotting against the Abnegation. They must be waiting until they have more support from Dauntless but that won't be long. Then they will have the army they need and they'll be ready to attack."

The man looks at me steadily, his face giving nothing away. "Is that so? Can I ask why you are telling me this?"

The suspicion catches me by surprise. I expected gratitude or maybe fear, but not suspicion. My temper spikes; doesn't he realise what I'm risking to tell him this?

"Do you know who I am?"

I see him pause. "Yes. You are Andrew Prior's daughter, Beatrice."

I nod, "That's right. So why is it so hard for you to understand that I want to help you?"

"You have chosen to transfer to another faction, to Dauntless. The Dauntless do not help others."

"Maybe I'm not Dauntless," I see his forehead crease with confusion, "maybe I'm more than a short list of personality traits, more than a stereotype." I lower my voice, "Maybe I'm Divergent."

His lips part in surprise. I see him draw a breath, ready to speak but what he wants to say I never find out.

"Tris!" we hear Axel call from outside, "The train is coming Tris, what are you doing in there?"

I take a step back, away from Martin, towards Axel and the train, but I don't break eye contact. "You need to tell people what I've said. Be ready to defend yourselves."

I fix the Abnegation Ambassador with my most intense look, waiting as long as I dare, then I turn and run to join Axel just in time to jump aboard the empty train as it passes.

I am quiet the whole of the journey back. I wonder if I said enough to convince Martin or at least enough for him to pass my warning onto someone more senior in Abnegation. They need to be ready for the worst…

As I prepare to jump from the train, I feel a subtle change in Axel's mood. When we land, I turn to him and see a pained expression on his face.

"What's up?" I ask but Axel just shakes his head. The sun is beginning to set and I hear my stomach rumble – I wonder if Tobias has eaten yet or if he is waiting for me to return.

I notice Axel hangs back as I approach the wall that we must jump from: the members' entrance to the Dauntless compound. Part of me is curious about his odd behaviour but I am eager to get back, eager to see Tobias and tell him about today, so I don't think long about this change in my mentor.

I am foolish not to see the signs.

I land in the net and immediately I am pulled to the edge by several strong hands.

"What –" I start to say but the sight I see before me steals the words from my mouth. I am greeted back home by Eric and six Dauntless guards.

"Beatrice Prior we are arresting you on suspicion of being Divergent." Eric turns to the men behind him, "Take her to the cells." They are expecting me to fight – sending six guards to arrest one skinny 16 year old girl! This is ridiculous.

Axel lands in the next behind me, he pulls himself off the net without looking once at me or the guards. "You knew!" I shout, but he keeps his eyes on the ground as he hurries past my (un)welcome home party.

My gaze returns to Eric. He wants to hurt me; I can see it in his eyes.

I remember Tobias' words to me a week ago: _'Don't give them a reason_.' If I fight them, they will fight back and I will lose. Maybe I have already lost but I refuse to give Eric the satisfaction of seeing my fear.

So I go with them willingly even though every cell in my body screams at me to run.

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**Review? L x**


	14. Chapter Fourteen - Both

**Warning! Serious angst in this chapter.**

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**Chapter Fourteen – Both**

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**Tris**

The floor is hard and the walls are rough against my skin. They took my jumper, supposedly to make sure I had nothing hidden underneath it. I think Eric just wants to see me suffer. They took my shoes too.

Even with my jeans pulled down as far as they will stretch and my feet curled up inside them, the floor has drawn all the heat from my body. I've started to shiver so violently that I'm not sure I could walk now without someone to hold me up. My butt's gone numb too and not just from the cold, I've been sitting on it for what has to be several hours now. You'd think a chair wouldn't be too much to ask for.

I squeeze my eyes shut and wrap my arms tightly around myself. I try to convince myself that it's Tobias' arms holding me, that we are in him room and everything that's happened is just one very long bad dream. It isn't though and I have a horrible feeling that the worst is yet to come.

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**Tobias **

I'm pacing. I've not sat still since I heard what those bastards have done. They won't let me see her, won't even tell me where she is. And I'm barred from the control room so I have no way of finding out.

I've been and yelled at everyone I can think of, I don't think there is a soul left in Dauntless who doesn't know that Tris is being held in a cell somewhere by our leaders. They don't know why yet, though it won't be long before that information is 'leaked' to the rest of our faction.

_Divergent_. Is one word enough to turn friends into enemies? We're about to find out.

The only good thing is that I've made it impossible for them to make her 'disappear'. If Tris doesn't stand trial everyone will know they're being lied to by Max and Eric - I know they won't risk that.

Leaning my head against the wall, I try to calm my heart rate. I can't let the fear overwhelm me. The night is stretching to an impossible length and exhaustion is creeping up on me but I couldn't sleep now even if I wanted to.

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**Tris**

"Aren't you going to question me or something? You're not just going to _leave_ me here?" I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice, I really did, but this is the first time anyone has been in to see me and I can't stand not knowing what is happening. I have never been a patient person.

As the man who has brought me a bottle of water exits silently, a new silhouette fills the doorway. Eric.

"Oh you'll be questioned soon enough. We just need to clear the Pit to make room."

"m-make room?" _Oh God._

"The interrogation will be public. All of Dauntless will hear you confess."

"I won't confess - I've done nothing wrong."

"Oh you will, I can be very persuasive. You'll say anything I want you to… eventually."

He smiles as he pulls the door closed. I hear the dull clunk of the lock as I slide to the floor, my arm catching on the stone wall and grazing my elbow as I fall.

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**Tobias **

"So she got drunk and started mouthing off! That's not proof of anything."

"The evidence against Beatrice Prior will be shared with everyone at her trial this afternoon."

I look at Max closely; his face and expression gives nothing away. But I know what he's hiding, I know about the vials of fear serum hidden somewhere in the Dauntless compound. I'm sure there's a vial there with her name on it.

It feels like months since I sat with Tris, in what have could our Factionless home, and warned her about exactly this happening. If I could turn back the clock, I'd force her to stay there with me.

"Four, I had hoped you would prove loyal to this faction. You _could_ be a leader but your…" he pauses, considering his words, "connection to Ms Prior is damaging your reputation. Our city is changing; there will be a new system of power soon; this is a great opportunity for you. Distance yourself from Tris now and I will find you a position high up in the new order."

"You really don't get it, do you? I've _never_ wanted to be a leader less than I do now." With that I turn to leave.

"Watch yourself, Four. Anyone supporting a Divergent will be named a traitor too." I don't respond and let the door snap closed behind me.

Three hours to go until Tris' trial. Three hours of waiting followed by a life-time of living with the verdict.

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**Tris **

I'm dragged up onto a platform and a sea of faces looks up at me. I've eaten nothing for 24 hours and the room is swimming in and out of focus. The soles of my feet are bleeding from the walk here from my cell - that, added to the dizziness, makes me grateful when I'm pushed down onto a stool. My arms are tied behind my back.

"Beatrice Prior, you have been accused by our faction leaders of being Divergent and working with other Divergent rebels to bring down the Faction system. You are facing execution under the laws of Dauntless if found guilty."

"I'm not guilty."

"You need to speak louder than that, so your faction can hear you." Eric can barely contain his smile as he taunts me.

I grind my teeth. Then I look up at the crowd and say it as loud as my dry throat will allow. "_NO_. I am not a threat to this faction or any other."

"You manipulated your way through Dauntless initiation, you have publicly mocked your faction leaders and you have used your position as faction ambassador to communicate with fellow Divergents in Abnegation."

"No, none of that is true."

"We had hoped you would co-operate Beatrice. It is unfortunate that it's come to this, but we need the truth from you now." I see the needle just before it enters the exposed skin of my neck.

A burning spreads out quickly from the injection site.

Then suddenly I see Tobias, standing right at the front of the crowd. And at the edge of the stage. And at the back by the wall... Every face in the crowd is changing into his and all of them are looking at me with hatred in their eyes. _This isn't real._

I focus on the Tobias standing at the back of the Pit, he is pale and I can see the tension in his body as he watches me. _He's real._ I try to hold on him – both the physical version I can just about see and the memory of him that burns brightly in my mind.

Then a wave of crippling pain rushes through me and I fold in on myself, slipping from the stool onto the floor. I feel claws on my back and sharp beaks stabbing again and again. The crows attack me from every side and I'm too weak to even look up. _This isn't real._

"Tris Prior, you are Divergent, do you deny it?"

His words barely register before the pain takes me again. I moan and rest my head against the ground.

"You can make this stop. All you need to do is tell us the truth."

A rush of cold air surrounds me as all the crows take flight together, a brief moment of relief.

I feel the vibration before I hear the footsteps approaching. In front of me I see three pairs of feet and bile rises in my throat as I recognise the middle pair of black sneakers. With the corner of my eye I scan the crowd, looking for him _anywhere_ but in front of me. But now every face in the Pit is an expressionless, featureless mask. So I turn back and look up.

The Dauntless guards tower on either side of Tobias, who looks down at me sadly and doesn't even struggle as they hold a knife to his throat.

"No! Please, no." But they take no notice of my plea and with one sharp movement the knife breaks his skin. I watch as the person I care most about in this cruel, unfair world collapses to the floor.

I can hear him choking and spluttering on the blood now blocking his airways.

"No! No, no, please no," I moan. I always thought it would be me. That if either of us was going to die trying to end this war, I would be the one. I'd accepted that; there are worse things than dying.

_This_ is worse than dying.

I could have saved him. We could have run away; we could have been safe.

"I'm sorry!" I cry. "You were right, I'm sorry," tears are clouding my vision but I can't blink fast enough to clear them and with no free hand to wipe them away all I can see of Tobias as he kneels on the floor is a dark haired blur and bright red blood.

There are no words.

I throw my head back and howl.

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**Review if you liked it (though maybe 'liked' is the wrong word)  
Etta :)**


	15. Chapter Fifteen - Tobias

**Back from a break, this chapter is for Hooda :) I hope this is the outcome you wanted.**

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**Chapter Fifteen – Tobias**

Watching as Tris fights against something only she can see is making me sick; I can taste the bile at the back of my throat, burning. But I have been trapped in silent terror since that syringe went into her neck.

_Purple serum. _Red serum.

_Fear landscape. _Reality.

Does it even matter when they both end with death?

I can't watch but I can't look away.

Tris topples sideways and crashes from the stool onto the floor of the stage; with her arms bound she can do nothing to break her fall. I feel the impact as though we are one person.

No one in the crowd makes a sound so every cry and gasp from Tris carries the length of the room to where I am standing. Why is no one helping her? _Why am I not helping her? _I don't know what she thinks is happening but the pain it is causing her is obvious.

Then Tris looks up. I see her face contort with terror as she watches something invisible to everyone else, she start to plead against whatever she is seeing and one phrase echos across the Pit. "I'm sorry! You were right."

It's me, I realise - _it's me she thinks she's seeing_.

I remember again the new challenge in my fear landscape, the terror I felt as I saw her die, and I'm sure that is what Tris is feeling now. We are more alike than I realised, more in tune with one another than any other two people alive.

The two greatest emotions I've ever felt, love and fear, rage inside me, both stronger than ever before... but my love is not enough.

The fear defeats me, grips every part of me, body and soul, leaving me frozen. I can only watch as my whole world, my Tris, cries out in anguish so intense that she loses consciousness and crumples to the floor.

This has to be the end of everything. Surely we will both die now, together but forever held apart.

"Stop!"

Everyone turns to see the person who has spoken out, but it's not me they see: it's Will.

Will forces his way through the press of people and steps up onto the stage, closely followed by Christina. But he doesn't head for Max and Eric, he doesn't even go to Tris, instead he looks out across the crowd and speaks to them.

"This is not the way! We've been given no reason for this, heard no evidence against Tris and anything she says now is just a response to her fear and pain. If we let this continue she will say anything to make it stop. _Anything._ Whether it's true or not won't matter, she'll say whatever they want her to say to make this end."

My eyes follow Christina as she leaves Will's side to crouch beside Tris, running a hand over her face and hair, both of which I can see from here are drenched with sweat.

"I won't stand by while a member of our faction is treated this way," Will continues. "Torture is not a tool of justice, it is a tool of terror. Our own leaders are trying to control us through fear, but we are Dauntless, we are brave – brave enough to say no! Brave enough to find another way."

A murmur of agreement comes from the crowd around me, they are listening! I feel hope swell inside me.

Christina has released Tris's arms from behind her back and is cradling her, I realise yet again how small she is, how fragile.

Even as Will continues to speak, we can all hear a wordless moaning coming from the still unconscious Tris now just beginning to wake. Pain and misery – she doesn't need words to communicate how she is feeling.

"We are Dauntless, the protectors of our city and everyone who lives here. I think some of us have forgotten that." Will leans down and with Christina's help they get Tris on her feet. "We're taking Tris away now for the medical care she deserves."

The crowd parts to let the three young members through and there is shame on many faces. Max and Eric are nowhere to be seen and once the stage is empty most people leave, in ones and twos, in silence.

It's over. Oh thank God! It's over, _she's safe_.

I stagger to the edge of the Pit, where I can lean against the wall and let my legs give way. My body crumples into a heap, tucked out of sight.

Hunched there on the floor, I allow a deep self-hatred to replace the feeling of relief flooding through me. I am a coward; not worthy of my faction, not worthy of Tris.

I'm down on the ground like the dirt that I am. Worse than dirt, I don't even deserve to be walked over. What point is there in my life if I can't protect the only person I love?

She's alive. _Tris is alive_. But I didn't save her.

I didn't even try.

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**Will's speech is based on Amnesty International's St****op Torture campaign, which you can support by going to their website.**

**Chapter 16 will be posted on Monday.**

**L x **


	16. Chapter Sixteen - Tris

**Thank you to the people who have reviewed, it's really helpful to hear what you think. **

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**Chapter Sixteen – Tris**

I can't speak. I've tried to talk but nothing comes; the doctors have checked but they say there is nothing physically wrong with me. They say I will feel better soon and that my voice will come back. I don't think I will ever feel better; I will never be able to un-see what I saw, un-hear what I heard. Or forget the pain, which I am still not completely free of though I'm pretending that I am.

It is, apparently, hours since my interrogation. I have been drifting between reality and an unconscious oblivion. I remember being half carried by Will and Christina towards the hospital and their whispered words that everything was ok now, none of it was real. But it felt real enough to me, so I escape into sleep as often as I can.

Christina is the first person they allow in to see me. She smiles, her eyes watery, and reassures me that it is all over, that I am safe now. _I will never be safe._ She tells me everything that happened before, during and after they injected me with fear serum, and I nod slowly to show I understand.

It's not that I'm not pleased to see her, but my eyes keep drifting to the door. Where is he? Why isn't he here?

It's like Christina can read my mind. She takes my hand and says, "He won't come in." I frown and my confusion must be obvious. "I think he's ashamed. After we got you here and the doctors started working on you, I went to look for him. He was still down in the Pit and his eyes…" she stops and bites her bottom lip, "he looked years younger. He let me lead him here like a child but now he's just sitting out there in silence. Except when the doctor said we could come in and he said he wouldn't. That _you_ wouldn't want him to."

I've stopped listening. I pull myself up straighter and try to swing my legs to the ground. A piercing pain shots up my left side and I wince but continue to slide towards the edge of the bed. A nurse runs over and pushes me back. I fight her, my trembling arms and weak muscles must seem pathetic to her but its taking all the energy I have just to stay upright.

Christina puts a hand on my shoulder, "Stay," she says, "I'll make him come in."

I want to laugh. No one can _make_ Four do anything he doesn't want to do. But then I look at Christina, _really_ look at her for the first time since I woke up here. She seems older, stronger. So I don't laugh, I don't even smile, I just nod.

It feels like hours have passed before the door slides open and he finally comes in. Tobias won't meet my eyes as he pulls the plastic seat closer to my bedside. His gaze skirts the side of the bed and his fingers twitch nervously in his lap. But I can't speak so I _need_ him to look at me.

And then he does look at me. _Oh God._ His face is gripped with so much pain that I forget myself.

"I'm sorry." His voice is so quiet that I almost believe he has spoken directly into my brain. I shake my head, willing him to understand what I can't say.

"I should have helped you." I'm shaking my head even more than before but he hangs his head and I'm worried that he can't see me.

I think I see tears in his eyes but he blinks and they are gone. I'm almost disappointed, not because I want Tobias to be any more upset than he clearly already is but because I think that someone _should_ cry. I'm too tired for tears but _someone_ should cry for all the Divergent who have already died; for everyone out there waiting, afraid that they could be interrogated next.

I reach out to take his hand but miss and only catch his sleeve. We both look down at my hand, small and pale with a visible tremor. I clutch tighter at the fabric of his jacket and finally he looks back up at me. I try to smile, try to keep any of my pain from showing. He doesn't smile back; instead he just stares at me, stares like he hasn't seen me in years, like I've come back from the dead.

I pull on his sleeve, so lightly that I'm surprised that he notices and even more surprised that he seems to understand what I need. He moves from his chair onto the bed, removing the pillows so that he can slide in behind me. Carefully, he pulls me back against him and I sigh, my head resting on his shoulder, his arms around me.

With him, like this, I feel almost peaceful.

I think of the flat with its stacks of supplies and its view of the fence… For one horribly selfish moment, even though I'm safe for now, I wish that we'd gone away when we had the chance.

Factionless. It doesn't sound so bad today. We'd be alone, but together. Separate from society but safe.

Immediately I hate myself for thinking it and I quickly feel myself becoming more and more upset. The shaking grows until no part of my body is free of it. Tobias' grip on me tightens, "Tris" he whispers against my ear, but there is nothing more that he can say. He holds me close and rocks me gently, like I am a child.

Soon I feel the tiredness swallow me again and everything goes dark.

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**Any thoughts? This is a short chapter but the next one will be longer and up on Thursday.**

**Etta x**


	17. Chapter Seventeen - Tris

**More angst in this chapter I'm afraid.**

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**Chapter Seventeen – Tris**

The doctor turns out to be right, my voice does come back. He tells me that the shaking will stop soon too, though I still don't feel like its stopping.

Tobias is here every minute that he can be, from almost as soon as I'm awake until well into the evening. I don't know how he has gotten the time away from work, it's been nearly a week and there's no way Eric would allow him that much time off just to be with me... But he doesn't talk about it and I don't ask.

Instead we talk about meaningless things and sometimes, in whispers when the nurses are a safe distance away, about the conflict that now stretches across the city and within our faction.

"Surely the factionless would side with Abnegation in a war. The Abnegation have always supported them." I mutter as we sit on my bed, holding hands as we always do now. I think Tobias needs the physical contact and I'm not complaining.

"But you're forgetting that my mother is making all the decisions. I can't see her rushing to help Marcus, can you?"

I slowly shake my head. Obviously Tobias knows his parents much better than I do but surely Evelyn would see that this is bigger than just her and Marcus. Whatever their past _surely_ they will both act now for the greater good?

Raised voices drift through the door and down the corridor. They are too far away to make out every word but I catch enough to realise they are talking about me. Tobias' eyes are fixed on the door but they are unfocused as he strains to hear the approaching voices clearer.

I grip his hand hard and in response he strokes is thumb across my palm, soothing me.

The double doors at the end of the ward open and two doctors walk down the aisle between the beds. One is the Dauntless doctor who has been checking on me all day. The other is dressed in blue.

"Hello Miss Prior, we've come to move you to a more suitable hospital."

The Erudite doctor says nothing more to me and he doesn't acknowledge Tobias at all. He speaks directly to my doctor, like our opinions mean nothing. Everything he says sounds reasonable, _kind_ even. But everything he says is a lie.

"We have access to better facilities and specialist doctors, Tris will be well cared for in Erudite. There is a car outside ready to move her this afternoon so we just need your notes on Tris' condition and we can be on our way."

"No. I won't go with you!" I've pulled my legs up against my chest so I am as far from the doctor as I can get.

"This distress is part of her condition I'm afraid," says the Erudite doctor gently, "her body is still in a heightened state of fear and that is clouding her judgement."

"No," Tobias moves to stand between us, trying to block me from view. I focus on him, his broad shoulders, the tension in his muscles, his long-fingered hands now balled into fists. "Tris wants to stay here, she's getting better every day. She doesn't need your help."

"And you have the medical experience needed to make that decision, have you? No, I think not. Tris has been here six days but she is still far too pale and that tremor is clearly not going away." The Erudite doctor gives Tobias one final look of contempt before turning back to his Dauntless counterpart, "The best thing for your patient is for you to hand her over to my care."

"Then I will get her paperwork ready for you."

"No!" both Tobias and I shout together, but no one is listening to us.

As the two men walk away from us, Tobias turns back to me, leaning over to rest his forehead against mine, "I won't let them take you," but his voice shakes as he speaks and I know he is just as afraid as I am. He slips his arms under me and lifts me off the bed.

There are tears in my eyes but I don't blink them away, instead I press my face into Tobias' neck and let them roll silently down my cheeks.

"I'm not letting you go, I'll fight them."

The doctors aren't stopping us as we move away from the office they have entered - why don't they care that we're trying to escape? This seems too easy... But before we get as far as the door, four Dauntless guards come in and block the exit. They must be some of those who joined Eric's Erudite protection group, I don't recognise any of them. They are not our friends so they must be our enemy.

Tobias sets me down gently on a nearby bed. I see his face harden as he changes from who he is when we're alone to the initiate instructor I first met. "Don't," I say but it's too late, Four launches himself at the nearest guard. He has skill and surprise on his side, but there are two of them for each of us - and I'm of no help whatsoever.

Four is determined not to go down without a fight. It's a good thing mine was the only occupied bed, as the fighting continues nothing, not even furniture, is slowing them down. The sounds of fighting finally draws the doctors out of the office to see what is going on.

Then several things happen at once: Two of the Dauntless guards get Tobias pinned between them, he continues to struggle but he cannot move. The remaining guards split up, one going to the door and the other gripping me tightly by the elbow. And the Erudite doctor returns, syringe in hand.

I can see Tobias shouting and the guards trying to keep us apart but for me the world has gone quiet. Another syringe, another serum. Will this never end?

I feel the needle slide into the skin at my neck without making any attempt to prevent it, I'm too weak to even try. As the doctor removes the syringe, Tobias breaks free of the men holding him and pulls me back into his arms.

"Tris! I've got you. I've got you."

My eyes are closed. There are hands everywhere, pulling at me from all directions but Tobias holds me tight and I hold onto him too with what little strength I have left. I lace my fingers with his like I've done so many times before, _please don't let this be the last time_.

A well-place blow to the back of Tobias' head knocks us to the ground and the guards descend on us. Two pull Tobias away while a third drags me towards the door but we are still connected, our hands still joined.

"No." I choke the word out. Whatever they have injected me with is beginning to take effect; I feel dizzy and my grip on Tobias' hand is loosening. He feels it too and tightens his hold. "Tobias!" I plead with him to keep me safe, it is the first time I have used his birth name in public.

Finally they pull us apart, lifting my feet clear off the floor and as our fingers part Tobias looks at me - a desperate, frightened look. "Tris," he calls out, "I love you."

My heart stops. I'm not scared anymore. No, now I am terrified.

Tobias has just said goodbye.

I want to say it back but there is no air in my lungs. My mouth just hangs open in shock. Then a door slams closed between us and it is too late.

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…**The End**

**(Or is it?)**


	18. Chapter Eighteen - Tobias

**Thank you to everyone who has sent me a review for your kind words. And an extra thank you to all the people who waited while this story was on a break. **

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**Chapter Eighteen – Tobias**

I am haunted by the memory of Tris' face as she was pulled away from me. The look she had just as she disappeared out of sight is burnt into my brain, scarring the backs of my eyelids so it's all I can see when I close my eyes.

I'm such an idiot, telling her how I feel at the worst possible moment. Now Tris is out there somewhere thinking that I have given up, that we are never going to see each other again.

"I will find you." It's a whispered promise that I will do anything to keep. I have to go to Erudite and find Tris, whatever the consequences.

So I'm getting ready to leave Dauntless forever. Hacking the Dauntless security cameras was the first step and now I am raiding the weapons store - I need to be prepared to fight.

"There you are."

My jaw tightens and I scowl but I don't turn around or stop what I am doing. Christina is not someone I have the patience to deal with right now.

"So you _are_ off to Erudite then. Without even talking to us."

Eventually I do turn round to see not just Christina but Will, Uriah and Zeke as well. "I don't need your help."

"Really? It looks like you do. What's the plan Four?"

"Rescue Tris."

"That's it? Well lucky for you we have an actual plan, you know, one where we rescue Tris _without _dying in the process." There is something about Christina that has always irritated me but right now I would quite happily shoot her.

But the worst part is: she is probably right.

I have no plan - except storming over to Erudite on the next train, gun in hand, and doing whatever is necessary to reach Tris. The main flaw here is the distinct lack of an exit strategy – ideally, I would like to get us both out again... There is also the fact that I have no idea where she is being held.

Or if she's even still alive. _Please be alive_.

"Look," says Will, "we want Tris back as much as you do and we think we have a way to find out exactly where she is."

"Which is what?"

"Not what, who. My sister Cara is in Erudite, I can contact her and she can find Tris' brother, Caleb."

"They were close back in Abnegation," adds Christina, "Tris even visited him during initiation, remember? I'm sure Caleb will help you find Tris and then get you both out."

_Caleb._ I hadn't thought of contacting him. I'll give them credit, this plan has potential.

"There is one thing I'm not sure about," says Will. "Once you've got Tris out of Erudite you can't come back here, I don't know where you _can_ go but you'll be factionless."

"I can deal with that." I don't tell them that I've had that part sorted from the start. This time, if we get back to the flat, I don't think Tris will object to our new living arrangements.

"We'll find a way to clear Tris' name so you can come home. She's not Divergent," Christina protests, "there _must_ be a way to prove that."

"She _is_ Divergent," I say without giving myself time to think it through, but dammit it's time we stopped pretending, "and so am I."

I can see every emotion from surprise and admiration through to fear and disgust on the four faces in front of me.

"Everything you think you know about being Divergent is wrong," I start, "we are just people with character traits for more than one faction, which means we don't fit neatly in one place. That's it. No special powers, no secret society. The _only_ people the Divergent are a danger to are the Erudite because we can't be controlled with simulations. When we're in a simulation we know it isn't real, like in your fear landscape."

Zeke's expression has hardly changed; when he finally speaks I can still see the angry, betrayed look in his eyes, "You expect us to just take you word for that? Even if I believe that you and Tris aren't part of some cross-faction rebellion, the others still could be."

"They're not Zeke," Uriah snaps, "_We're_ not."

Zeke's eyes all but jump from their sockets, "You-?"

"Me. I didn't know I was Divergent until the second part of initiation, until the simulations. And I can tell you one thing: it didn't make me feel powerful or part of some secret club. I just felt alone. And frightened. Four knew what I was but I didn't know what he'd do or who he'd tell."

"I didn't tell anyone, not even Tris."

Uriah looks at me, "I hoped you were Divergent too but you never said."

"Too dangerous," I say and I can see the tension in Uriah's face easing. Everything he's been holding in for weeks is now out in the open. Maybe I should have talked to him earlier.

I turn back to the others. "I don't know of any other Divergents who are still alive. I have no way of contacting them and they wouldn't be able to contact me. Our survival has relied on us keeping our identity secret. The idea of an organised, cross-faction rebellion is just plain ridiculous."

Everyone is listening to me and the initial fear I saw, particularly in Christina and Zeke, is ebbing away.

"This has always been about what Erudite do and don't want us to think. They want power but Abnegation stand in their way. They want total control but they can't control anyone who is Divergent."

"If you're right then they're half way there. Every faction is turning against Abnegation and every faction is afraid of the Divergent. If there is a war," Will continues slowly, "Erudite will take command, Dauntless will fight for them and Abnegation will fall."

"They still need a way to control us," says Uriah. "If the Divergent fight we could still stop them. That's why they wanted Tris!"

"_What_?"

"Think about it. If they wanted her dead they could do that without taking her back to Erudite. If anything, it would've been better for them if the Dauntless leaders had finished her off. So why pick her up unless they needed her alive."

A whole new set of nightmare scenarios go through my mind: Tris being experimented on; Tris being brainwashed; Tris being controlled by Jeanine Matthews.

But with them comes a flicker of hope – because, however much I might hate myself for it, when they took Tris out of that hospital I truly believed that was it, that they would kill her before they reached Erudite. I told her I loved her so that she would know the truth before it was too late. My 'rescue mission' was little more than a suicide pact. But now, if they really do need her alive, I have hope.

As long as she's alive I can get to her; as long as she's alive we can be together again.

_Hang in there Tris, I'm coming._

"Contact Caleb," I say, "I'll be ready."

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**Let me know what you think. **

**Etta x **


	19. Chapter Nineteen - Tris

**Chapter Nineteen – Tris**

_Cold._

My feet on the floor are numb; my hands are a little warmer as I keep them wrapped around my chest. The little heat that seeps under the door to my cell is quickly sucked out through the gaps where the window sealant has long since worn away from the glass. I'd curl myself into a ball and huddle under a blanket to keep warm, if I _had_ a blanket that is. I couldn't say if the shaking from before has stopped or not. Maybe it is just the cold now that keeps me shivering.

_Sterile._

This room, with its floor-to-ceiling tiles and plastic coated door and window frame, is no hospital ward – though, in all honesty, I never really expected it would be. It is clean, in the bleak and lifeless way of a mortuary. I'm sure they do have all the facilities and specialised doctors that were promised, but not for the likes of me.

_White._

Like Candor there is nothing forgiving about this cell. Every surface blinds me with the truth I cannot ignore: I am alive and I will stay that way until they are done with me. Then I will be discarded. Forgotten. I'm sure that everyone back home thinks I am already dead... yet here I am.

I have never felt so lonely in my life.

I crawl over to the corner of the room where, far above my head, there is the small circular window with an Erudite eye printed onto the thin glass – this is my only connection to the world I used to be a part of.

During the day it lets in more light than I'd like. The sun's glare reflects off every surface so, no matter which way I face, I can't escape its harsh brightness. But at night the gentle glow of the stars creeps in and calms me. I could see those same stars from the Dauntless compound and, though it seems a lifetime ago now, from my house in Abnegation.

Judging by the direction in which the sun has set, if I sit here I am as close to home as I can get. With my cheek pressed against the icy tiles, I close my eyes and picture the way back: a short walk to the train tracks (in my mind there is no need to hurry), a brief jog and leap onto the moving train, the blur of passing streets and empty buildings, a rush of wind against my face as I land once more on solid ground and finally the free fall descent down to Dauntless, where Tobias would be waiting for me.

_Home._

Just a train journey away and yet with all this space between us, the city feels much larger tonight… and somehow this space seems to grow a little more with every day that I'm here.

I remember the first time I travelled out of Dauntless with Tobias; we looked out at these Erudite buildings from the train and wondered why the lights were on. I wish I was still wondering.

I remember the way I pressed closer to him, found the courage to lose the distance between us, to move to sit on his lap. Even thinking about the way our bodies touched, how quickly we responded to each other brings a blush to my cheeks.

I'd give anything to have him that close again, to have the reassuring beat of his heart beneath my palm.

"_Tris, I love you!"_ He loves me.

I think I love him too. I just wish we'd had more time… but then doesn't everyone wish that when they lose someone close to them?

"Goodbye Tobias," I whisper but I hardly recognise my own voice, I've had so little use for it.

When I realised that the Erudite wanted me alive I made a deal with myself: I will be selfless _and_ brave, embracing both these parts of who I am - I think Tobias would approve. Through my silence I will protect the ones I love.

But I'm starting to fear that they don't need to ask questions to extract what they need from me.

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**Yes - this is a very short chapter but it didn't really fit with the next part I've written for Tris and I didn't want to leave it out. Plus I wanted you guys to know she is ok (ish). Hope you think it was worth including. **

**Tobias' next chapter is coming soon (once I have finished proof reading it).**

**Lyetta x**


	20. Chapter Twenty - Tobias

**Chapter Twenty – Tobias**

"What is this place?"

The train has carried and deposited us past the Erudite main entrance to a group of buildings set around a granite fountain and a paved seating area. Each building is four stories or taller and from the outside there is nothing to mark them out as special in any way.

Except that the lights are still on and it is now well past the time when those lights should have been shut off.

I have seen these buildings from a distance, once in fact with Tris not that long ago, but I've never been as close as this. _Are you here Tris? Do you remember?_

Boney fingers of moonlight stretch out from between the buildings, reaching for us. I attempt to ignore the feeling of foreboding that also seems to bleed out into the air around these buildings.

"Caleb didn't say what the Erudite do here, experiments I guess," whispers Christina, "he just said that the fire door on the north face of the tallest building would be left open for us."

"For _me_," I remind her, "you've come far enough." She nods.

From here I will go on alone until I find Caleb. Christina will return to the train tracks and wait. She has the supplies (mostly stuff for Tris) ready for our new Factionless existence. I remember the medical kit I included but try to put out of my mind all the possible reasons we might soon need it.

If all goes according to plan, Tris, Christina and I will travel away from Erudite together. Part of the way back, Tris and I will change trains and Christina will continue on to Dauntless.

"Four. Be careful."

I nod. "If I'm not back by sunrise-"

"You will be," she interrupts. I fix her with a hard stare, one I usually reserve for initiates who don't toe the line. Christina sighs. "I know. Go back to Dauntless, tell the others."

I think Christina wants to hug me but as I turn away I'm glad she doesn't.

In the several days that it has taken to plan this trip I have come to see that Will was right: I am not the only one who wants Tris back safely. But I am still the one with the most to lose.

Without her there is a tightness in my chest that won't let up and a hollow feeling in my stomach that no food can fill. This is why I must be the one to take the biggest risk. So, alone again, I walk towards the tallest building.

As promised, the fire door is wedged open with a small, but carefully placed rock. I'll give Caleb credit, if it had been discovered no one would have assumed it was done intentionally – the rock matches the many other rocks lining the paths between the buildings; small enough to be picked up by the wind, it could have jammed the door by chance.

Once in, I look down the corridor to my right and up the stairs ahead of me. There is no sign to follow, no clue from Caleb to guide me. It's times like this I wish I had more Erudite in me. Which way would Tris choose?

_Up. _

The answer comes suddenly and from where I couldn't say, but the more I look at the stairs the more right it feels – this is a tall building and the odds are good that Tris is not being held on the ground floor.

The stairs echo my footsteps but I am trained to be light on my feet. As I reach the top step a shadow falls across my path. My heart clenches almost painfully in my chest but the man looking back at me can only be one person: Caleb.

After all that time spent watching her, memorising her, even if I hadn't known Tris had a brother I would have recognised him anyway.

"Hi," he says. It feels stupid to introduce myself but he is so anxious that I can see him shaking. I try to make this feel more normal, reassure him if I can, but as I say my name and offer my hand, Caleb looks away. He stands awkwardly, his feet turned in – he has never learnt to be ready to run.

"Which way to Tris?" I ask, hoping the distraction of the task at hand will help Caleb pull himself together. There isn't time for this.

"This way." The words are quiet and accompanied by a vague wave of his arm, pointing to the corridor behind him.

"OK," I say. There is a pause where Caleb shuffles from foot to foot and eventually look back up at my face. I try to hide my irritation. I_ try_. "After you then."

"Right, yes... this way."

We are on the move again. The corridor itself is dark but at regular intervals we pass the doors to what I'd guess are laboratories judging by the hum of electrical equipment and the muffled sound of voices. Light spills out from the edges of these doors and I grip my gun harder as we pass each one.

Caleb's shoulders are still tensed under his white lab coat. I watch the way the blue fabric of his trousers flaps as he walks and I think again how unprepared he looks for a fight. Mentally I try to keep track of all the twists and turns we take but I know I will need Caleb to get back out again. _To get us both back out._

At a darkened doorway he pauses, "we need to go in here."

I nod but a ripple of unease travels down my spine. He has not stopped to justify his route before, so why now?

This new room is dark but, from the moon light entering through a set a large windows, I can see that it is a long meeting hall. As I follow Caleb, my eyes flick from one picture on the wall to the next, each representing a different aspect of the Erudite life. Set into the floor beneath my feet is a tank of water, crystal clear and perfectly still.

I imagine conferences or exhibitions taking place in here. Important people mingling with other important people; somewhere my father might be invited but never me. At the far end there is another door, held open, leading to a narrow stair case.

But before we are even half way across the hall, the lights above us flicker and the burst into life. Standing here we are too exposed. I tense and reach from Caleb to drag him to the edge of the room but he ducks my arm and steps back.

With his eyes downcast and his shoulders slumped, I realise too late the true cause of his anxiety.

"Caleb," I growl. I can here heavy footsteps coming down the hall behind us and from the stairs ahead. I know we are surrounded but I'm not looking for another exit, instead I am staring at this boy who has her eyes but none of her strength or integrity. "Caleb. _What have you done_?"

* * *

**Thanks for reading - 20 chapters and you're still here, wow! What did you think of this one?**


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